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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28745913">i'm not going anywhere (unless it's with you)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadwriter16/pseuds/deadwriter16'>deadwriter16</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A little angst with a happy ending, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, I promise its good, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, They all need hugs, bow is everyones free therapist, dumbasses in love, everyone has parent issues, everyone just needs love, found family/friend group, general senior year antics, i am sorry about my inability to tag things, i forgot every tag in existence the moment i had to tag stuff, if i need them, its a little weird at first but just go with it, let glimmer say fuck 2021, lots of evil characters arent evil anymore, no beta we die like angella (shes legitimately dead in this fic unfortunately), nobody is straight, oblivious childhood friends, other characters are in the back causing havoc, suicidal thoughts/ideation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 14:14:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>22,737</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28745913</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadwriter16/pseuds/deadwriter16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Glimmer is a self-proclaimed social outcast, despite having a decent amount of friends. She's depressed, recovering from her mom's death, dealing with her absentee dad, and trying to get through senior year without sleeping through it.</p><p>Adora's ridiculously popular, but she's also trying to ignore her foster mom's manipulative parenting, get through college apps with zero motivation, and reconnect with her ex-best friend who she hasn't seen since switching schools. </p><p>Bow has a million friends and he loves his dads, but it's not as perfect as it seems. Bow is tired of lying to his dads and pretending to like the idea of owning a library, and he's also trying very hard not to try and fix his friends' issues.</p><p>Catra just started at the school her ex-best friend left her for and all her current friends go to, and she's angry about it. She wants nothing to do with the girl who left her, even if Catra is kind of in love with her.</p><p>But it's the start of senior year, all four of them are connected by miles of mutual friends, and they all got detention on the first day of school. There's an infinite amount of things that could go wrong, but there's also the off-chance that things could actually work out.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adora &amp; Bow (She-Ra), Adora &amp; Glimmer (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow &amp; Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), Catra &amp; Glimmer (She-Ra), Minor or Background Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. social outcast bullsh*t</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>so this is my first time writing a modern au or a she-ra fic but I'm trying and I think its pretty good</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Glimmer hadn’t realized how much she missed getting grounded. She’d trade her absentee dad for her mom’s shrill anger in a heartbeat. She’d get herself grounded a thousand times over if it meant bringing her mom back. The one parent she’d actually liked was gone, and now she was stuck in her big, empty, fucking mansion with her father who was either gone on business trips, at work, or holed up in his home office. But Glimmer didn’t need him, not like she needed her mom back. Her dad had always been gone and she’d never expected him to be in her life, not since she was eight and she’d learned what real dads were supposed to do and finally understood that her father would never be like that. Instead she’d relied on her mom, her mom who she hated more than anything but loved enough to die for. Her mom who’d still died first, when that drunk driver hit her car and she died on impact. And she left Glimmer in the land of the living, all fucking alone.</p><p>Well, not entirely alone. Glimmer didn’t have her father, and she’d pushed away the Princesses a while ago, but she did have Bow. Well, she mostly had Bow. She had Bow when they weren’t at school and separated by layers of cliques. And Glimmer had Catra, which was new this year. Glimmer wasn’t sure how Catra had gotten her grades at her old school up enough that Horde Prime let her go to Etheria Academy for senior year, but she was really glad for it. Catra was someone who Glimmer could be friends with, because despite her self-appointed title of social outcast, Glimmer was really going to need a friend this year. She couldn't survive her last year of cliquey private high school if all she had was pitying looks from the Princesses who Glimmer knew didn’t like her. Catra wouldn’t pity. Catra was too brutal and real and honest and exactly what Glimmer needed. Catra was harsh but her and Glimmer understood each other. Catra understood Glimmer in a way that Bow didn’t, which was quite a statement to make considering that Bow knew Glimmer better than she knew herself. </p><p>But Catra understood Glimmer’s short temper and her tendency to lash out and push away because Catra did the same thing herself. And they never had to apologize to each other, because it was always unspoken. With Bow, Glimmer usually didn’t lose her temper in the first place. He was patient to an almost irritating extent, but somehow he knew exactly how not to get a rise out of Glimmer. And the few times she did lose it at Bow, she never fumed or sulked because with him, she wanted to apologize as quickly as possible. And Glimmer absolutely hated apologizing, even when she knew she was wrong. Because Glimmer was always wrong; she was wrong when she pushed the Princesses away and when she pushed Bow away (but he refused to leave, because he never does) and every time she yelled at her mother before she died. And if Bow was here he’d disagree, because he preferred not to see fault in people, but Glimmer knew that Bow saw every single one of her flaws. And so did Catra, but the difference was that Bow believed that Glimmer could change for the better and Catra didn’t really care and would be friends with Glimmer either way. If Glimmer was being honest, despite her I-don't-change-for-anybody attitude, if it wasn’t for her moderate-severe depression, she’d absolutely change herself for Bow.</p><p>And he probably knew that, because he pushed her to change and sometimes she tried but it never really worked. And Bow didn’t leave her and she stopped trying to push him away, because they saw each other all the time outside of school and Glimmer didn’t really mind that they didn’t hang out during school. Bow spent his time with Sea Hawk and Adora and the Princesses, the people who only stuck with Glimmer because of her mom, and Glimmer had left their group quickly after realizing that. Glimmer remembered when Bow first became friends with Adora and tried to get Glimmer to meet her, so they could try and be friends, which Glimmer refused to do. Later she learned that Adora had also refused. Adora was kind to a fault and so selfless, but they both knew that any relationship they could’ve had was destroyed by Glimmer’s friendship with Catra and Glimmer’s perpetual sadness and inability to make conversation with new people. After that, Bow gave up on trying to find Glimmer more friends.</p><p>But Bow never gave up on being Glimmer’s friend, and Bow had promised Glimmer multiple times that he wasn’t going anywhere. So, in return, Glimmer never gave up on trying to get rid of her self-sabotaging trauma responses so that she could stay friends with the best fucking person in her life. And it worked, but keeping one best friend and also Catra was all the energy Glimmer had as far as people went. With anyone else she knew, Glimmer was either awkward or uninteractive; unless it was Entrapta or the Hordaks. Sure, Glimmer was a social outcast, and she didn’t hang out with them at school very much, but she couldn’t just push away the friends she’d had since birth. The Hordaks were Horde Prime’s biological children and Catra was Prime's adopted child, while Entrapta and Glimmer’s families had worked closely with Prime’s company, Prime Technologies, since before they were born. The arrangement had led to the five of them being close friends, despite Glimmer and Entrapta’s connections to the Princesses.</p><p>Entrapta and Glimmer had left the Princesses around the same time, and they’d stuck together until Wrong Hordak joined their school freshman year and Hordak got held back and joined their grade the same year. Entrapta naturally preferred to spend time with them, and by freshman year Glimmer’s mental health had taken a turn for the worse and she’d started becoming a loner during school hours. But the Hordaks and Entrpata were still some of her closest friends, and along with Catra, they were an unlikely but somehow tight-knit friend group. And they were who Glimmer had carpooled to school with since first grade, when Angella would drive all of them to Etheria Academy because Prime couldn’t be bothered to participate in his children’s carpools. But since they all turned sixteen last year they’d been driving themselves, which meant that they switched who drove every day. And this year they finally had Catra, which was mostly inconvenient because there would no longer be space in the backseat and Glimmer, being tiny, would always be forced into the middle seat.</p><p>Except that Glimmer’s ride plans unexpectedly changed, because she was about to respond to Catra’s text that they were on their way to Glimmer’s house when she was startled by two very loud honks from a car. Glimmer nearly jumped out of her skin and five feet into the air before looking out her bedroom window and seeing Bow’s familiar beat-up sedan. Bow saw Glimmer looking, grinned, and then waved enthusiastically, to which Glimmer rolled her eyes. Seven-thirty in the goddamn morning and he’s <em> waving </em> . Glimmer was halfway through her very large tumbler of coffee, and she still wanted to die. Or at least go back to sleep. But she didn’t, because now Glimmer was very confused. Bow and Glimmer never drove to school together. Bow drove Adora and Sea Hawk, never Glimmer. But Glimmer vaguely remembered Bow telling her yesterday that he was going to start hanging out with her at school more, and Glimmer had laughed it off because <em> yeah right </em>. </p><p>But Glimmer was still broken up about her mom, and while Catra’s friendship was always nice, there was something about Bow’s support that Glimmer hadn’t entirely realized that she definitely needed. And while it was really weird that Bow was parked outside her house to take her to school, Glimmer appreciated the gesture. Her room was freezing and it was too early in the morning for Glimmer to not be numb all over, but Bow was still grinning through the window and Glimmer felt a little warmer. So she grabbed her bags and she grabbed her coffee, texted Catra that she didn’t need a ride today, rolled her eyes when Catra sent back a very annoyed text, and opened her bedroom door and walked downstairs. Glimmer looked through the open door of her dad’s office, before remembering that her dad was working all night at Prime Tech and probably wouldn’t be home for a while. Who knew if Glimmer was going to see her dad today, let alone tomorrow.</p><p>Glimmer really missed her mom.</p><p>Glimmer pushed open her front door, locked it behind her, and groaned at Bow’s animated, “Hey Glimmer!”</p><p>“It is seven-thirty in the fucking morning, please do not interact with me,” Glimmer said, sipping her coffee and accepting Bow’s one-armed hug that she would have returned if her hands weren’t full.</p><p>“Glad to see you’re acting normal,” Bow noted, leaning against the side of the car.</p><p>“Why are you here?” Glimmer asked, yawning.</p><p>“I need an excuse to be here?” Bow joked, but then answered, “I told you I was going to be here for you during school, too. No more of this social outcast bullshit. I came to this school for you, remember? Well, technically it was because my dads are obsessed with the history curriculum here, but for me it was about you.”</p><p>“You’re feeding my ego,” Glimmer said, “get to the point.”</p><p>“Your self-esteem is horribly low, I’m happy to feed your ego,” Bow replied, “but also you’ve been through a lot this summer and I know you have Catra but you also have me. You always have me. So I am here to support you.”</p><p>“Fine,” Glimmer said, flushing a little bit and telling herself it was from the cold, “Thanks, Bow.”</p><p>“Always,” Bow smiled his constant but somehow never fake grin and squeezed Glimmer’s hand before walking to the driver’s side of the car. Glimmer opened her door and slid into the passenger’s seat, very glad that she wasn’t stuck in a middle seat. She just hoped Catra was joking in her text and would be fine with Entrapta and the Hordaks. She also hoped she’d catch Catra before first period, because Glimmer was probably Catra’s best friend at Etheria if you didn’t count Adora, who Catra never talked about anymore. When Adora first left it was all Catra could talk about, angry and scathing, and Glimmer just quietly listened. And one day, in November of sixth grade, Glimmer and Catra had a conversation that Glimmer only vaguely remembered and after that, Catra never talked about Adora again.</p><p>Glimmer wondered why, but knew better than to ask Catra.</p><p>“Hey,” Bow said, interrupting Glimmer from her thoughts, “you’re gonna be okay.”</p><p>“Do I have to believe you?” Glimmer asked, because she didn’t.</p><p>“No,” Bow answered, “I’ll believe it for you.”</p><p>“Much appreciated,” Glimmer said, tired of not being okay but reassured by the knowledge that Bow believed that she could be. If Glimmer was to make a list of things that kept her going, the reasons why she woke up in the morning, Bow would be first. Coffee would be second, probably. And then Bow’s unfailing optimism, his unwavering certainty that Glimmer was good and that she could be okay one day, that was third. </p><p>The fourth point on the list used to be Glimmer’s mother. </p><p>Now it was the memory of Angella, because Glimmer wanted her mom,  wherever she was now, to see Glimmer and be proud of her.</p><p>And if that wasn’t a reason to live, Glimmer didn’t know what was.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m pretty sure your spot is over there,” Glimmer remarked about the parking space Bow had just pulled into, which was a different senior’s space. Every senior had been allowed to reserve a space in the parking lot for themselves last summer, and Glimmer remembered her and Bow coming to get spaces together. Except that Bow’s was for him, Adora, and Sea Hawk, while Glimmer’s was for her entirely different friend group. </p><p>“It’s just Netossa’s,” Bow said casually, “she rides with Spinerella, so she said she’d let the rest of us trade her space since it’s closer to campus.”</p><p>“Lucky,” Glimmer replied, thinking about how her and Hordak always had to park on the street, nobody ever let Wrong Hordak parallel park for fear of dying, and Entrapta always parked near the labs, which was a long walk for everyone else in the car.</p><p>“If you let me drive you more often,” Bow started, “you could get in on this.”</p><p>“And miss driving with the half-insane duo that is Entrapta and Wrong Hordak?” Glimmer said as her and Bow got out of the car, “no way.”</p><p>“Oh!” Bow said as if remembering something, “could you talk to Entrapta later about who got the internships? I bet she knows something, and I am dying from the anticipation.”</p><p>“Sure,” Glimmer answered, grabbing her bag and coffee as Bow slammed his door shut and they started walking towards school, “but can’t you talk to her yourself?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Bow said, “but she probably gets all her information from Hordak and I don’t really want to face him right now. He’s intimidating.”</p><p>“He got held back one time,” Glimmer sighed, “and he’s really just awkward under all that meanness.”</p><p>“You knew toddler Hordak,” Bow countered, “I did not. Besides, I’m technically Entrapta’s competition, so I shouldn’t talk to her. Please, can you?”</p><p>“Obviously I will,” Glimmer said, because she’d do anything for Bow, “speaking of which, there they are.”</p><p>Glimmer turned to where Hordak’s car was turning into the parking lot and stopped at the curb where Catra, Wrong Hordak, and Entrapta piled out while Hordak drove away, looking for their spot. Glimmer briefly wondered if she’d remembered to tell Hordak where their spot was. Hopefully he’d figure it out if she hadn’t.</p><p>“Is that Catra?” Bow asked, nudging Glimmer and looking in Catra’s direction.</p><p>“Yeah,” Glimmer answered, meeting Catra’s eyes and waving. Catra didn’t wave back, but Glimmer could see the ghost of a smile on her face.</p><p>“Adora never talks about her,” Bow said, “I didn’t think I’d ever meet her.”</p><p>“Catra doesn’t talk about Adora, either,” Glimmer replied, “which is why I’m worried about them being in the same school now.”</p><p>“Adora’s going to want to be friends with Catra again,” Bow started.</p><p>“And Catra is not going to like that,” Glimmer finished, “and somehow we are both going to get involved.”</p><p>“Well, I like getting involved,” Bow pointed out.</p><p>“Right,” Glimmer nodded, “but I don’t.”</p><p>“Bow!” yelled a voice as Glimmer and Bow approached the quad, where the Princesses and Sea Hawk, owner of the voice, were sitting on the concrete.</p><p>“Hey, Sea Hawk!” Bow said brightly, and then turned to the rest of the group, “hey, guys.”</p><p>The other Princesses all added their own cheerful greetings for Bow, and Glimmer suddenly felt very awkward. She shouldn’t be here, she should be in the library or even the fucking bathroom, or with Catra. Not here, not with the Princesses.</p><p>As if reading Glimmer’s mind, Bow’s hand touched her arm, quickly, for reassurance. </p><p>“Hey, Bow!” another voice said, excited. Glimmer knew that voice, and wasn’t surprised when a tall blond blur came barreling into Bow and threw her arms around him.</p><p>“Adora!” Bow said, returning the hug.</p><p>Glimmer scanned the vicinity for Catra, and saw her perched on the armrest of a bench, talking to Wrong Hordak. Catra noticed Glimmer and met her eyes, and Glimmer winced as Catra immediately saw Adora. Catra’s face paled and she quickly turned away. Glimmer figured that she should go over there, turned back around to tell Bow, and was met with Adora staring at her.</p><p>“Hey, Glimmer,” Adora said, eyes bright and smile wide. Glimmer hated Adora for how kind she was, because that made Glimmer want to be her friend. But Adora was popular and loved and Glimmer was decidedly not, and while that sounded incredibly cliche, it was Glimmer’s own decision not to be friends with Adora. A bad one, but Glimmer wasn't going to take it back now. And that was the worst thing about Glimmer’s situation with the Princesses; every single one of them would take Glimmer back if she asked, but Glimmer was far too stubborn to admit that she was wrong to push them away and now she was lonely.</p><p>Adora’s expression turned grim and concerned as she remembered what had happened to Glimmer in June, and she turned to Glimmer with what looked like pity and added, “listen, I’m so sorry about...about your mom.”</p><p>“Hi, Adora. I-thanks,” Glimmer responded quietly, because she was still tired. Seven forty-five wasn’t much different from seven-thirty in terms of exhaustion. Also, Glimmer skipped breakfast in the mornings and the hunger was starting to catch up to her. She was painfully aware that Bow definitely had food somewhere in his bag, because he always had food in his bag because Glimmer and Adora were both perpetually hungry people. Glimmer also knew from always raiding said bag that he had food specific to Adora and Glimmer’s tastes. He was far too considerate, and Glimmer didn’t deserve it. What she did deserve, because Glimmer was an asshole of a person, was for Adora to be looking at Glimmer weird because she wasn’t making eye contact or saying anything more.</p><p>Thankfully, Adora looked up at Bow instead and said, “I didn’t know you and Glimmer were still friends.”</p><p>Bow had tried to get Adora and Glimmer to be friends in freshman year. It did make sense for Adora to think that Glimmer and Bow had drifted apart after that.</p><p>“She’s my best friend,” Bow replied, and he said it so matter-of-factly, like it was an obvious statement, because it was to him, but it wasn’t to Adora. Her eyes widened and she blinked a few times, before regaining her composure and assuming a teasing grin.</p><p>“I thought I was your best friend,” Adora said, feigning hurt.</p><p>“You <em> are </em>,” Bow replied, because Bow had so many friends and Glimmer only had him and Catra, “can’t I have two best friends?”</p><p>“You can,” Glimmer muttered, forgetting Adora was there because bantering with Bow was so natural to her, “except that you have, like, ten best friends.”</p><p>“That’s not true,” Bow protested.</p><p>“No, she’s right,” Adora said, and Glimmer started at the agreement, “ten best friends is too many best friends.”</p><p>“But,” Bow countered, “how else can we be the Best Friend Squad?”</p><p>Glimmer snorted. “The what?”</p><p>“That’s what Bow likes to call our friend group,” Adora explained. </p><p>“Aren’t you guys the Princesses?” because that was what Glimmer had always called them, even when she was a part of their group.</p><p>“We are,” Bow said, “but I also came up with a new name when I joined the group, and nobody objected so I just went with it.” That, Glimmer decided, was very in-character for Bow.</p><p>“Fair enough,” Glimmer replied, “the only friend group that I’m even remotely a part of is the Prime Tech kids, which you can tell was a name created by Hordak when we were ten because he has no creativity whatsoever.”</p><p>Both Bow and Adora laughed. Glimmer had forgotten what being friends with the Princesses was like. It was nice, pseudo-getting along with Adora, but Glimmer was getting worried about Catra, who was now alone on the bench because Wrong Hordak left. </p><p>“Speaking of the Prime Tech kids,” Glimmer said, “I’m gonna go talk to one of them. I’ll see you later, Bow.” Bow smiled at her and Glimmer turned around to leave, but not before unzipping Bow’s backpack and grabbing the two bagels in a plastic bag that said “Glimmer” on it. Glimmer also found the bag of goldfish labeled “Adora” and, to be considerate, tossed it to her. Adora caught it and gave Glimmer a small smile. Glimmer returned it somewhat awkwardly, and then turned away.</p><p>“Bye, Glimmer!” Bow called as Glimmer walked over to the bench Catra was sitting on. Catra turned at the sound of Glimmer’s footsteps, and Glimmer smiled at her, sitting down on the bench when Catra scooted over to make room.</p><p>“Hey, Catra,” Glimmer said, “how were the Hordaks and Entrapta?”</p><p>“Annoying as hell, just like always,” Catra replied, “why weren’t you with us today?”</p><p>“Bow picked me up,” Glimmer answered, “instead of Adora and Sea Hawk.”</p><p>“Right,” Catra nodded, “because he wanted to support you or whatever.”</p><p>“Having nice friends is so weird,” Glimmer said, because none of the Prime Tech kids were necessarily nice.</p><p>“I wouldn’t know,” Catra said softly, “I don’t have any. Not anymore.”</p><p>“Sorry,” Glimmer replied, not caring that Catra didn’t think of her as a nice friend. Glimmer wasn’t necessarily nice, either. Glimmer offered Catra one of her bagels because she’d specifically asked Bow to bring two of everything today. Catra took it and shrugged.</p><p>“We can talk about Adora, I guess. Since I’m at the same school as her now, anyway.”</p><p>“If you don’t want to we don’t have to,” Glimmer responded, “I’ll try not to bring it up.”</p><p>“That might be hard,” Glimmer turned around to look at Catra, who was looking behind her at the quad, “considering that she’s coming over here.”</p><p>And she was, Glimmer saw. Adora was walking up to the bench, and Catra did not look excited. Adora smiled at Glimmer again, and Glimmer forced her facial muscles to smile back. She could fake a smile for a Princess, couldn’t she?</p><p>“Well,” Catra said as Adora approached, “I guess I have to deal with this. Talk to you later?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Glimmer said, very ready to leave this awkward situation, “good luck.”</p><p>Adora stopped in front of the bench and her eyes focused on Catra, who looked right back at Adora. Glimmer could cut the tension with a knife.</p><p>Catra’s smirk turned deadly, and that was Glimmer’s cue to leave.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>so as far as the villains go, shadow weaver (adora's foster mom) and horde prime just generally suck as parents, but their kids arent in any physical danger/abuse. also hordak is genuinely good in this so don't worry about that.</p><p>also the first 4 chapters of this fic will be posted within the next two weeks, and after that it'll (probably) update every Wednesday.</p><p>also also pov order goes glimmer - adora - bow - catra</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. hey, adora</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adora had first heard that Catra was coming to Etheria through Bow, who heard it through Glimmer, who heard it from Catra. Adora had assumed that Glimmer told Bow that Catra was coming only because Glimmer knew Catra and Bow knew Adora and it was just information that Adora might like to have, but she hadn’t realized that Glimmer had told Bow because they were still friends. To be honest, Adora wasn’t sure why she’d thought they weren’t friends anymore, but she never saw them interact during school and she’d just assumed they’d drifted apart. But not every friendship was her and Catra’s. Catra and Adora drifted apart the minute Adora switched schools, and she’d always thought that if you didn’t talk to someone during school, the friendship was essentially doomed. Adora had tried to get Catra to come over a few times in sixth grade, but every time Catra blew her off and Adora figured that friendships where you didn’t see each other every day just didn’t last.</p>
<p>But apparently Bow and Glimmer did it, why couldn’t Adora and Catra?</p>
<p>Adora hadn’t wanted to spend the entire week before school started worrying about Catra, going onto campus to pick out her locker and secretly hoping she’d see Catra there. Part of Adora was worried that Catra had changed, that it wouldn’t be the same, but the rest of Adora knew that couldn’t be true. Catra was her best friend, and Adora and Catra were forever. They were finally at the same school again, if only for one year, and Adora was going to get her best friend back. They would see each other every day, maybe Adora could get Catra to join the Princesses, and they would be friends and everything would be fine. And even if that wasn’t true, Adora was optimistic and she tried to believe it despite her self-doubt reminding her that not everything worked out perfectly.</p>
<p>Adora had been called naive plenty of times, but she knew that perception of her was wrong. She wasn’t naive, she was optimistic. Because if she didn’t have the power of positive thinking, what did she have? And that was a trick she’d learned from Bow, because when it was just her and Catra they were cynical and skeptical and dark. But then she met the Princesses and later Bow when he came to Etheria in freshman year. And Bow taught Adora about optimism and the belief that everything would be okay in the end and Adora realized that Bow was right. Adora was still realistic, aware of the fact that not everything would go exactly as planned, and she still had her crippling self-doubt in the form of Shadow Weaver (her adoptive mom) reminding her every day that if she was an academic failure, she’d be a failure forever. But Adora wasn’t an academic failure, she was smart and she got the top 5% grades in her class and she was strong and she didn’t give up. And while she knew that self-doubt wasn’t going anywhere as long as she was stuck in Shadow Weaver’s house, she’d also learned to become more open to the possibility of good things happening. Bow had taught her that, because he was ridiculously sure that good things and happy endings really did exist, and Adora had never really understood why.</p>
<p>Now, Adora thought it was because of Glimmer, because knowing that Bow and Glimmer were still friends was putting together a million different puzzle pieces about Bow that Adora hadn’t previously understood. Bow was firm in his certainty that <em> everything will be okay </em>, and he was almost too good of a person. As if he was balancing someone else’s bad, or their hurt. And for so long Adora hadn’t understood, because Adora had issues but she dealt with them herself and the Princesses and Sea Hawk were all really well-tempered people, but Adora saw Glimmer next to Bow and everything fit together. Glimmer’s mom had just died, and she’d always been sort of a loner since she’d stopped hanging out with the Princesses, and in general, the Glimmer Adora had observed from across classrooms was exhausted, swore a lot, and practically inhaled coffee. Probably the polar opposite of Bow, and now Adora knew why. If Bow was friends with Glimmer, they were balancing each other out. Optimism plus reality check. Belief in positive outcomes plus a reminder that not everything is fair or perfect. Bright and kind plus reserved and blunt.</p>
<p>Adora and Catra, all those years ago.</p>
<p>To say that Adora missed Catra would be a gross understatement. When Adora first had to switch schools due to Shadow Weaver’s insistence that Adora was “gifted” and “should be moved to a higher quality of education,” Adora was mildly ashamed to say that she had cried. She’d cried at night because she missed her sleepovers with Catra, the ones where Catra would lie at the foot of her bed, protecting Adora until the end because despite being reserved and blunt, she was also determined and loyal to the people she loved. And while who those people were sometimes changed, back when Adora was one of them Catra had done nothing but protect her and love her. And Adora loved her back, because they were best friends and how could that relationship be immediately ruined after Adora switched schools? If she was being honest, Adora had never really understood it. Adora had made efforts to get Catra to come over, knowing that she hated Prime’s house when Glimmer wasn’t there, but Catra refused. And the next thing she knew Glimmer was her source of information about Catra, telling Adora that <em> Catra’s fine, she just misses you</em>, but Glimmer looked like she knew something more. Adora never asked, Catra’s business was Catra’s business. But, once there had been a time when Catra and Adora told each other everything. </p>
<p>And once Glimmer left the Princesses towards the end of middle school, she still made an effort to sometimes tell Adora something about Catra. <em> Catra doesn’t talk about you anymore </em> , Glimmer used to tell Adora, <em> but I know she misses you </em>. And Adora thought it was pretty out of character for Glimmer to still be talking to Adora, but Adora appreciated Glimmer’s effort nonetheless. When Adora met Bow freshman year, Glimmer pretty much stopped talking to Adora and Bow had started being Adora’s source on Catra. Thinking back on it, Adora really should have connected the dots about the two of them. But for some reason, she’d assumed that after she and Glimmer both refused Bow’s attempt to try and get them to be friends again (what would they even talk about, besides Catra? Catra, who Adora didn’t want to talk about anymore?) Bow would have drifted apart from Glimmer as he got closer to Adora. But apparently, people were capable of maintaining friendships outside of a school setting, and the fact that she and Catra hadn't been able to irritated Adora. </p>
<p>Honestly? It kind of infuriated her. </p>
<p>Adora missed Catra more than anything else, but looking past the quad and seeing Catra perched on the arm of a bench, six years older but still exactly the same, Catra, <em> her </em>Catra, Adora saw red. Because she and Catra were supposed to be forever but Catra had avoided her without any explanation and sure, Catra had a right to be mad that Adora technically left her, but what choice did Adora really have? Shadow Weaver taught at Etheria Academy’s high school, and Shadow Weaver was Adora’s mother and therefore had complete control over Adora’s school situation. But while Adora was angry, she remembered Bow’s optimism and, because she had just interacted with her for the first time in months, Adora remembered Glimmer’s intuitiveness. Glimmer understood people, and now Adora had to try and understand Catra. Adora had always been able to understand Catra, Catra who was terrified of being alone. Of people leaving. Which was exactly what Adora did, even if it was out of her control. Catra had a bad temper and would be hurt and angry at Adora and probably had been for the last six years.</p>
<p>Adora just had to hope that Catra would be happy to see her now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After Glimmer left to go sit with Catra on the bench, Adora allowed herself one look at Catra as she opened up her bag of goldfish. Catra was the same as always but older, her hair long and brown and her eyes the same blue and yellow. Catra was pretty, because Catra had always been pretty. But this Catra was even more biting than she had been before. Her smile seemed to be more of a smirk, and the sparkle in her eyes looked sharp. All of Catra looked sharp, actually, hardened and harsh. This Catra had an edge that hadn’t been there when Adora knew her. And maybe that edge was caused by Adora leaving. Or maybe Adora was just being self-centered. Not everything was really about her, was it? Catra had a life besides Adora. Catra had probably moved on at some point, become closer with Glimmer and Entrapta and the Hordaks and forgotten about Adora. Catra didn’t need Adora, not like Adora needed Catra. Because it had been six years and Adora still thought about and missed Catra every damn day. And Adora desperately wanted to get her best friend back.</p>
<p>Adora and Bow had moved back to sitting down on the concrete, but Adora zoned out of the conversation Sea Hawk was loudly carrying in favor of watching Glimmer and Catra. Catra easily scooted over, giving Glimmer room to sit, and Glimmer sat and gave Catra one of her bagels. They were friends, and they made it look so easy. Adora felt a flicker of jealousy, remembering when she was close to Catra like that. Even closer than that. But now Catra was smiling, <em> smiling </em>, at Glimmer, and Adora was struck dumb by that smile. Adora had always loved Catra’s real smile, because it wasn’t razor-sharp like her other smiles. And now Catra was smiling at Glimmer, and it still wasn’t the Catra smile that Adora loved, the smile that Catra always saved just for her. The jealousy in Adora’s body faded away, glad to know that despite their closeness, Glimmer hadn’t taken Adora’s place. Adora wondered if anyone else had.</p>
<p>“You want to go over there,” Bow stated, and Adora flinched out of her probably very obvious staring at Catra.</p>
<p>“No, I don’t,” Adora tried to lie, but Bow could always see right through her.</p>
<p>“Yes you do,” Bow said, “you’re staring, and I know it’s not at Glimmer.”</p>
<p>“<em>Fi</em><em>ne</em>,” Adora relented, “I was staring. But Catra was my best friend for so long, so how could I not stare, now that she’s finally at the same school as me again?”</p>
<p>“Fair enough,” Bow said, but Adora wasn’t done talking.</p>
<p>“Six years, Bow,” Adora continued, “I haven’t seen Catra in six years. I don’t even remember what her voice sounds like!”</p>
<p>“Well <em> you </em>sound like you want to talk to her,” Bow said, and of course he was right.</p>
<p>Adora sighed, “I do, but don’t you think she’d be mad? I mean, it’s <em> Catra </em>.”</p>
<p>“I’ve never actually met Catra,” Bow replied, “I just saw her for the first time today. But from what Glimmer says about her? Yeah, she’s probably mad.”</p>
<p>“Shit,” Adora said, because there was nothing else to properly describe her emotions at the moment, “I still wanna go over there.”</p>
<p>“Then go,” Bow shrugged, “and see whether you can be friends with Catra again. It’s better to at least know, even if what you find out is bad.”</p>
<p>“You’re right,” Adora replied, her mind filling with new resolve. Sure, Catra would be mad at her, and maybe she would lash out like she usually did when she lost her temper. And maybe Catra would never forgive Adora, never want to be friends with Adora again, but Adora didn’t know that for sure. She had to be optimistic, believe in the possibility that the best-case scenario can sometimes happen. Because that was what the Princesses and Bow taught her, and those were the people Adora turned to after she lost her best friend. And they showed Adora that friendship can last as long as you make an effort. And maybe Catra never made an effort after Adora left <em> because </em>Adora left, and Catra was upset, but now Adora could make an effort. Adora and Catra were such close friends, all those years ago, and there had to be some of that friendship left in them. Adora had to try.</p>
<p>“I’m gonna go,” Adora said firmly to herself, shoving a handful of goldfish into her mouth and high-fiving Bow for moral support before getting up and walking towards the bench. She saw Catra turn to look at Adora, her eyes widening before showing no reaction to Adora’s small smile and turning back to Glimmer. Adora sighed, smile slipping off her face. Glimmer turned to look at Adora and Adora offered the same smile to Glimmer, hoping that she would have more of a reaction. Glimmer smiled back at Adora, but it looked forced. Forced and mechanical, like Glimmer smiled like that every day. As if she didn’t mean it, like she was forcing herself to do it. Briefly, Adora wondered what the hell happened to Glimmer after she left the Princesses, and whether Adora should have paid it more attention. Sure, Adora had tons of her own issues, self-doubt and hating her mom and never asking for help and whatnot, but she talked to people about it. Well, only Bow, sometimes, because he noticed it in her. Again, one of Adora’s biggest issues was that she never asked for help. Adora had told Bow about some of her baggage, but he’d had to practically force it out of her. Adora wondered if Bow did the same thing for Glimmer, because what had happened to her over all these years? And who was there for Glimmer? Bow, probably, but anyone else?</p>
<p>Catra?</p>
<p>Once again Adora remembered better times, crying into Catra’s shoulder and letting the other girl do the same. Adora complaining about Shadow Weaver and Catra complaining about Prime. Staying up all night and whispering about running away together and what they were going to do when they grew up and were free of their horrible parents. They’d made so many plans as kids, to fly to a foreign country and start a new life with fake names. They’d live together and get a cat and learn the country’s language and be happy. Happy and free and together. The memories made Adora smile, but she also knew they weren’t the truth. Even back then, they had never been the truth. </p>
<p>As kids, Adora and Catra had never been free of their parents. They still weren’t, but at least back then they’d had each other. Now they were separated, because Adora left, and Adora hadn’t stopped thinking about Catra since she did. But they’d made new friends, Adora joining the Princesses and finding Bow, while Catra stayed with the Prime Tech kids and became closer to Glimmer, apparently. And Glimmer and Bow were best friends. Adora really wasn’t sure how she’d never put the pieces together about those two, considering that Bow knew a weird amount of stuff about Catra for someone who’d never met her. Adora had just been happy to hear something, anything, about Catra that she hadn’t questioned the source at all.</p>
<p>Adora approached the bench and her breath caught when she saw Catra. Catra, who was staring right at her, challenging Adora. Adora looked back, barely registering Glimmer’s presence on the bench next to Catra. Adora and Catra engaged in a slightly petty staring contest for a few seconds before Adora felt herself breaking. She noticed out of her peripheral vision Glimmer getting up and leaving, and now Adora and Catra were alone. Catra was smirking, and Adora finally blinked herself back into reality. Adora looked at Catra’s face, one she hadn’t seen in six years. Adora missed Catra like hell, but seeing her this close made the longing even more powerful. Adora looked at Catra and she was almost pulled towards her, remembering every single amazing memory they’d had together, remembering all of the love Adora had for her ex-best friend. Adora wished she’d never left, even though it meant giving up the Princesses and Bow, because she’d do anything to get six years with Catra back. Six years that she’d lost because of Shadow Weaver and being a kid and in general not being free.</p>
<p>Adora was done letting other people dictate her choices.</p>
<p>Adora sat down on the bench, right next to Catra. Catra grinned her venomous smile, tilting her head to look up at Adora, giving her a once-over before speaking. And when Catra did speak, it was with the same raspy, sharp voice that she’d always had, the voice that pulled at Adora’s insides in a way that she really couldn’t explain.</p>
<p>“Hey, Adora.”</p>
<p>Adora heard Catra say her name for the first time in six years, and butterflies exploded in her stomach.</p>
<p>“Catra,” was the only thing Adora could get out, because there was so much more she wanted to say. She wanted to tell Catra how much she missed her, how much she loved her, how much she wanted to be friends again. But she also knew that Catra wouldn’t respond well to all of that. Adora had to start slow. <em> See? </em> Adora thought, <em> you still know Catra. She’s still your best friend </em>.</p>
<p>“What do you want?” Catra said, voice dripping with <em> I don’t care about you </em>. Adora didn’t let it faze her.</p>
<p>“I just wanted to say hi,” Adora answered, “I mean, we haven’t been at the same school in so long, it’s been six years. I couldn’t <em> not </em>say hi.”</p>
<p>“I could,” Catra said, avoiding Adora’s eyes and looking in the other direction. It was a clear gesture, Catra didn’t want to talk to Adora. And Adora understood that, but she wasn’t done trying.</p>
<p>“Look, Catra,” Adora started, “I get it if you’re mad at me. You have every right to be. But I left a long time ago, and I only did it because Shadow Weaver didn’t give me a choice. And I know I shouldn’t make excuses, but if it helps at all, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for leaving, Catra. I know I hurt you, and I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“You’re right,” Catra said, and met Adora’s eyes. And she sounded so soft that Adora gained the courage to smile, but it quickly faded when she saw how hard Catra’s expression was. The softness in Catra’s voice was an edge.</p>
<p>“I am mad,” Catra continued, “and you did hurt me. You left me, Adora. But I’m not accepting your apology, or your half-assed excuses. If I blamed Prime for every little thing I did, I wouldn’t be taking credit for any of my decisions. You’re not the only one with a bad parent, Adora.”</p>
<p>That hit a little hard, and Adora thought it was kind of undeserved. “Catra-”</p>
<p>“No,” Catra interrupted, “what do you want, Adora? To be <em> friends </em>again?”</p>
<p>Catra’s voice was scathing, and Adora flinched a little. “Yeah, Catra,” she said, “I do want to be friends again. I mean, we were <em> best friends </em>. I can’t just let that go without trying to get it back.”</p>
<p>“Well, I can,” Catra hissed, “we’re not best friends anymore, and we never will be again. So stop trying, stop talking to me, stop pretending like we can just start talking again and everything will be okay. You have your friends, and I have mine. I don’t need you, Adora. I never did.”</p>
<p>“I-” Adora was desperately trying to hold back tears, blinking them away. But when she spoke again, her voice was still wet and trembling, “how can you just throw this away, throw <em> us </em>away?”</p>
<p>“Like this,” Catra said, biting and cold, as she got up from the bench, picked up Adora’s bag of goldfish, and threw it into the trash can as she walked away. Adora made a noise of indignation at the loss of her food and best friend, but it came out strangled from the tears threatening to leave her eyes. Adora watched Catra’s back as she faded from Adora’s eyeline, and she tried not to cry. There was a pit in her stomach, slowly sinking as reality hit her. Catra was mad, and Catra would be mad forever. No matter how many times Adora kept trying, they would never be friends again. </p>
<p><em> No</em>, said Bow’s voice in Adora’s head. Adora was going to keep trying, because she knew that somewhere deep down, Catra still loved Adora too. And Adora was going to get her best friend back, even if it took all damn year.</p>
<p>Adora pulled her knees up to her chest on the bench and let a few tears fall, but kept herself from making a sound. Crying in public was already embarrassing enough, she was not going to also cry loudly in public. Instead she heaved in a big, shaky breath, exhaled it out, and wiped her face. She blinked the tears out of her eyes and got up from the bench, walking back to the quad where Bow was waiting for her. Glimmer had gotten up from where she was with Bow and was now walking in the direction Catra had gone, catching Adora’s eye and looking almost sympathetic before she turned away. Adora sighed and reached Bow, and she plopped down on the concrete next to him and huffed loudly.</p>
<p>“You okay?” Bow asked, considerate as always.</p>
<p>"Not really," Adora answered, "but I'll be fine."</p>
<p>"That's better than nothing," Bow replied, his smile kind and concerned.</p>
<p>"Yeah,” Adora said, smiling back, “hey, do you have any extra goldfish?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. i worry about you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Bow met Glimmer when he was eight years old, and she’d known Catra long before that. Considering that, Bow should’ve met Catra a long time ago. But Glimmer’s Prime Tech group and Bow were entirely separate and always had been since the moment Bow decided to join the Princesses, and in the end Bow was okay with that. He got along with Entrapta fine, he’d never met Catra, and he didn’t really like the Hordaks, but he loved every single Princess. They were some of his closest friends, Adora being his best friend in the group. And he’d known from Glimmer and the occasional rumor that Adora and Catra used to be friends, and he knew just how close they were because Glimmer had often mentioned Catra and her “best friend Adora” for a few years until Adora switched schools. When Bow joined the school freshman year he’d expected to be spending most of his time with Glimmer, probably awkwardly being a part of her unlikely friend group. But then Bow had met Sea Hawk in his first class and Adora shortly after, and they’d just clicked. And Glimmer had never shown any kind of grudge, which was weird because Glimmer could hold a grudge, but Bow let it go and started spending time with his new friends, the Princesses.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bow put together the pieces about Adora being Catra’s old best friend, but he’d stopped asking Adora about it after the first time, when she’d turned away and said she didn’t want to talk about it. Bow knew from Glimmer that Catra never talked about Adora, either, so Bow shrugged it off and left Adora to herself. Later, Bow and Adora became much closer, but barely ever talked about Catra and Bow was content to keep it that way. Bow talked about Catra enough with Glimmer, anyway. Because while Bow worried about Adora, Glimmer worried about Catra. Glimmer told Bow a ridiculous amount of stuff about Catra, and sometimes she’d just talk about Catra and Adora, how they used to be and how it affected Catra and how Glimmer wished she could help. Those were the early days, Bow remembered, when Glimmer cared.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Glimmer still </span>
  <em>
    <span>cared</span>
  </em>
  <span>, obviously, Glimmer cared more than anyone Bow had ever met. But as the absence of her dad, her issues with her mom and Shadow Weaver and Light Hope, her issues with her friends, and then her mom’s death caught up to her, Glimmer started putting up a wall. Bow still remembered Glimmer before she pushed people away, before she stopped trusting anyone who cared about her. And Bow remembered how much she’d cared about Adora leaving Catra, and how she’d worried about Catra and always made sure that Adora was okay in her own subtle way. And even when Glimmer pushed away the Princesses and left them because she couldn’t stand their pity anymore (or at least, that was what Glimmer had told Bow about it), Glimmer had made sure to check up on Adora every once in a while until Bow joined the school and he could do it. Glimmer had a big heart, and a lifetime ago she’d been trusting and open. A lifetime ago she’d walked into Bow’s dads' library, met a complete stranger, and became his first real friend. Those really were the early days, Bow thought, because back then Glimmer was the one with the big friend group and Bow was the one with nobody. He hadn’t even known who the hell he was, how was he supposed to also know who he wanted to be friends with?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hadn’t really known the answer to that until he met Glimmer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Glimmer, who had met Bow nine years ago and told him matter-of-factly that she was </span>
  <em>
    <span>running away, I hate my parents. I’d stay with Catra, but her dad sucks too. Maybe I should take her with me. Do </span>
  </em>
  <span>you </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanna come?</span>
  </em>
  <span> And Bow hadn’t wanted to come, because he loved his dads, but a small part of him wondered what it would be like to be free of his parents. He could be whoever he wanted; he didn’t have to be the historian that his dads wanted him to be, he didn’t have to be the brother who took over the library. Bow could be an engineer and make things like he’d always wanted to do, ever since he was a toddler and started trying to take apart his toys. So little Bow, that day in the library, considered it for a few seconds before deciding that </span>
  <em>
    <span>nah, I love my dads</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And Glimmer had looked at him with wide eyes because apparently she barely even knew her dad, since he was always at work. And Bow had felt bad for her, but he also wanted to know where her dad worked. And Glimmer said Prime Tech, and Bow gasped far too loudly for a library.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Being an engineer at Prime Tech was Bow’s dream job. Until he was eight all he’d known was the library, and he’d accepted that as his future without really realizing that he didn’t want that future. But then Glimmer told him about what Entrapta’s parents did and what Entrapta and Hordak wanted to do when they were older; be engineers at Prime Tech and take things apart and put the pieces back together in an entirely new way, and that sounded amazing to Bow. He wanted to do that, not be stuck in a library his entire life, buried in dusty books about events he didn’t care about. Bow had told Glimmer that Prime Tech sounded cool, and she’d told him that her dad was head of a department there and her mom was one of the members of their board, and all they did was work. Her mom much less than her dad, but both of them were gone most of the time. Glimmer sometimes didn’t see her dad for days at a time, never knowing when he’d come back from work or a business trip. Glimmer spent half her life at Prime’s house. And by this point it had been an hour since they met, so naturally Bow and Glimmer had already sworn an oath to be best friends forever. So Glimmer told Bow to promise her that if he joined Prime Tech, that he wouldn’t leave her all the time like her parents did.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Bow didn’t entirely understand how jobs or adult life worked, and he didn’t really get why Glimmer’s parents couldn’t come home in the first place because his dads worked at the library all the time but they still had time for Bow. But eight-year-old Glimmer was so open about her pain because she didn’t know that it was trauma yet, she didn’t know that parents weren’t supposed to neglect their kids yet, and she spilled all of her issues to the first random kid she met and Bow was so damn lucky it had been him. Because Bow didn’t understand why Glimmer’s dad neglected her, but he knew that whatever Glimmer’s parents were doing was wrong because parents weren’t supposed to make their kids sad the way Glimmer was sad. The way she was eight years old and asking the friend she’d just made an hour ago that if he took a hypothetical job years into the future, he had to promise he wouldn’t leave her. Which assumed a lot of things, all things Bow was entirely okay with accepting, because the only implication there that mattered was that Glimmer was still in his life by the time he was an adult getting a job, and Bow didn’t like any kind of future where that wasn’t happening.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So yeah, Bow promised his new best friend that he would never leave her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And now it was nine years later, and they didn’t see each other during school because they had different friends and both Bow and Glimmer had been through so much. Glimmer had tried to push Bow away but he stayed firm because he knew she didn’t mean it, because he was different from the Princesses. The Princesses weren’t friends with Glimmer like Bow was friends with Glimmer. And when Bow became friends with the same Princesses who Glimmer had left and became close with Adora, the person who Bow only knew as the girl who left Catra, Glimmer hadn’t held a grudge. She could’ve hated Bow and left him, too; refused to be his friend and lashed out and pushed him away. But Glimmer, despite being justifiably mad at Bow for a while, eventually and easily forgave Bow. Glimmer was reasonable, logical, realistic. Bow could be friends with whoever he wanted, she’d learned to understand. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then there was the time when Light Hope had tried to recruit Glimmer for some kind of Prime Tech gifted kids program, and Glimmer had blown up and refused and subsequently gone through a phase where she resented Prime Tech. That led to Bow and Glimmer’s biggest and worst fight; undoubtedly the most terrible month of Bow’s life. Prime Tech was still Bow’s dream job but now Glimmer hated the company for taking away everyone she loved. But they’d resolved it eventually, because Bow wasn’t going to give up a dream job for Glimmer, but he wasn’t giving up on her, either. And he wasn’t honestly sure how they’d lasted a month without each other, and by the time Glimmer apologized to him he wasn’t even mad anymore. He just wanted her back. So Bow reminded her that he’d promised not to leave her, and he’d meant it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Glimmer showed up at Bow’s house the day after meeting with her psychiatrist, shaking hands holding a bottle of Prozac, Bow had let her sleep over and held her hand when she took her first pill the next morning. And by now she knew that Bow was never going to leave her, because that was the first promise he’d ever made to her. And by that point, Bow could’ve left a million times over, but he never did. And in return, Glimmer actually tried with him, tried to keep her temper in check and apologized when she lashed out and tried to become better. And Bow didn’t ask her to do that, but he could tell she was doing it, even if she didn’t know it herself. Glimmer never said it, but she didn’t have to. Bow knew that Glimmer would never try to push him away again, and Glimmer knew that Bow would never leave her. They’d promised, and Bow kept his promises.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>One of the hardest promises Bow ever had to keep was his promise to himself that he was going to stay neutral on all things Adora and Catra. But every day he heard new things about Catra from Glimmer, and Adora never talked about Catra so Bow couldn’t really understand Adora’s side of the story at all. And Glimmer never told Bow anything of importance, because that was for Catra to share. But that didn’t take away from the fact that Bow knew a million things about Catra and a million more things about Adora. He knew things about both of their personalities, and Bow knew that if he got involved he could probably fix their entire fight. But Bow had a habit of getting involved with other people’s stuff, and he wasn’t going to do it this time. Adora was one of his closest friends, and he would always be there for her and give her advice, but he wasn’t going to get directly involved. And that’s what he told Adora when she asked Bow what she should do. Bow gave her some vague advice about giving Catra some space, which was mostly because Bow was trying very hard not to make it seem like he was defending Catra. Bow knew that Catra had flaws because they were very similar to Glimmer’s, but Glimmer painted Catra in a light that made it hard to hate her. So Bow tried to help Adora, but he didn’t say anything that could be taken the wrong way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After what felt like a very long five minutes, the bell for first period rang and the Princesses, Adora, and Bow split up. Bow’s first class was history, which would be unfortunate considering that he hated history, except that the class was taught by Glimmer’s Aunt Castaspella, a teacher who Bow actually liked. As the bell marking the end of passing period rang, Bow slid into a seat and scanned the classroom to see who else was in his class. He saw Scorpia, who switched between hanging out with the Princesses and Glimmer’s friends, and Bow waved to her. Smiling widely from where she was sitting with a girl who Bow was pretty sure was named Lonnie, Scorpia waved back. More people filed into the classroom, including Catra and Glimmer. Bow hadn’t known that Catra would be in this class, but he waved both Glimmer and Catra over to his desk nonetheless. Glimmer smiled at Bow and sat down next to him, which she had never done in the history of their years going to the same school. Bow figured now that everyone knew they were friends, Glimmer had no reason to give Bow the “you shouldn’t be hanging out with an outcast like me” spiel. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It hasn’t even hit eight am on the first day of school and I’ve already witnessed too much drama,” Glimmer leaned over and whispered to Bow, making sure that Catra, part of said drama, couldn’t hear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t remind me,” Bow whispered back, “I’m trying very hard not to get involved.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure,” Glimmer rolled her eyes, “we’ll see how long that lasts.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey!” Bow protested weakly, but stopped talking when he saw Catra looking expectantly between him and Glimmer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh!” Glimmer said suddenly, “sorry, Catra. I forgot you guys haven’t actually met. Catra, Bow. Bow, Catra.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” Catra nodded to Bow, “so you’re the best friend. Glimmer never shuts up about you. It’s been nine years of torture.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bow felt a rush of something warm at the idea of Glimmer talking to other people about him, but he didn’t address it more than that. Instead he replied, “well, Glimmer talks a lot about you, too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wish she wouldn’t,” Catra said, and Glimmer rolled her eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s nothing bad,” Bow reassured.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can never be too sure,” Catra replied, “Glimmer trash-talks people all the time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“People who I don’t like!” Glimmer countered, “not you guys.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Appreciate it,” Catra said shortly. Bow decided that he liked Catra fine, which was definitely going to be a problem considering that he was also friends with Adora.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, guys!” said a cheerful voice from Bow’s other side. He turned around and saw Entrapta plop down onto the other desk next to Bow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Entrapta,” Bow smiled at her. Entrapta grinned back and accepted greetings from Glimmer and Catra.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Have you heard anything about the Prime Tech internships?” Glimmer asked Entrapta, because Bow had asked her to.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I haven’t asked Hordak yet,” Entrapta answered, “but I will later today. He’ll know something about who got in. I really hope I got the job!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And also me,” Bow added.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And also you,” Entrapta agreed, “we have to get in together!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well,” Glimmer said, because she didn’t talk much on the subject of Prime Tech, “good luck, you guys.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks!” Entrapta said, and then saw Catra next to Glimmer, “hey, Catra!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>While Catra and Entrapta engaged in a conversation by leaning behind Glimmer and Bow’s desks, Bow turned to Glimmer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You okay?” he asked, “did anyone say anything about your mom?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” Glimmer responded, “I just got some condolences and pitying looks. All of which sucked, but it’s better than the people who didn’t say anything because they were afraid I’d get mad at them or something.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can you blame them?” Bow said, because he and Glimmer both knew about her tendency to get angry fast.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” Glimmer replied, “besides, I kind of like the idea that people are scared of me. I may be tiny, but I have a lot of pent up rage inside.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That you do,” Bow agreed, and then became more serious, “and listen. If you need me for anything I’m here, okay? You’re not alone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve said that like six times in the last thirty minutes,” Glimmer said, but she was smiling up at Bow. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s because I mean it,” Bow smiled back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Glimmer added quietly, “I love you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you too,” Bow responded, and Glimmer squeezed his hand under the table. Glimmer’s Aunt Casta chose that moment to start class, and Glimmer immediately sighed and put her head in her hands. Bow figured she had about five minutes before she passed out. It was a good thing they were in the back row and Castapella was a very lenient teacher. Bow, who also got bored during history, ripped out a piece of paper from his notebook and started trading the paper back and forth with Entrapta. They added random doodles to it, most of which were of pieces of tech or machines or some kind of invention. As Bow turned to right Glimmer’s coffee cup before she accidentally shoved it off the table, Bow spared a glance at Catra. She was looking down at her phone under the table, but she was also taking the occasional note. Catra looked up and saw Bow staring, and her mouth quirked into a little half-smirk before Bow could look away. It almost looked like a smile. Catra’s version of a grin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then class started, and Bow reminded himself that he wasn’t getting involved.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bow suffered through the rest of history until Glimmer eventually woke up for the “name and fun fact about you” portion of the class, which then dissolved into a partner activity that Glimmer was about half-awake for. That was more awake than usual for her before lunch, so Bow was proud in his own weird way. After history Bow had honors chemistry, which he had with Entrapta and Adora, and was one of Bow’s favorite subjects. Science was always fun, especially when it was with Entrapta. Both Hordaks and Sea Hawk were also there, which Bow considered a pretty good group for a class that didn’t have Glimmer in it. Third period was calculus, which he did have with Glimmer, who spent the entire fifty minute period complaining while Bow tried to help her because he found math genuinely interesting and she did not.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bow’s next class was English, another class that he found boring. Bow had this class with both Adora and Catra, which wasn’t exactly the best arrangement. Bow sat next to Adora closer to the front with the other Princesses in the class, and Catra sat in the back with Hordak. Bow caught her eye in the beginning of class and she did that half-smirk again, and Bow was convinced it was Catra’s way of being friendly. English was a class taught by Shadow Weaver, which was an even worse arrangement considering that Shadow Weaver was Adora’s adoptive mother and the reason why Adora left Catra and switched schools. Both Adora and Bow glanced at Catra when Shadow Weaver entered the room, and Bow saw Catra’s eyes widen and watched as she paled and froze up. Bow turned around before Catra could catch him looking, and hit Adora’s leg with his knee under the table when he saw her still staring. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After English was lunch, at which point Bow walked to the cafeteria with Adora. They got in line, grabbed a slice of pizza (Adora) and a sandwich (Bow) and another slice of pizza (Bow, because he knew Glimmer got inexplicably very hungry). Adora started walking to their usual table, crowded with the Princesses and Sea Hawk sitting on top of the table and loudly regaling the group with some ridiculous story about what he did over the summer. Adora sat down next to a very bored-looking Mermista, and looked up at Bow as if expecting him to sit next to her. Bow had sat next to Adora at the Princesses’ table since the first day of freshman year, but today Bow’s eyes wandered to the table where Entrapta, Catra, and the Hordaks were sitting, and then looked at the table a little farther over where Glimmer was sitting, alone. She was talking to Catra from a distance, but Bow knew that Glimmer’s position at a table by herself was an indicator that she still considered herself a social outcast for some reason. And Bow was tired of that mindset, so he was going to do what he did best and be aggressively nice to his best friend.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m gonna go sit with Glimmer,” Bow said to Adora, who looked surprised but nodded. Bow waved at Sea Hawk as he passed the table and walked over to Glimmer, who looked up in confusion when Bow sat across from her and nodded in greeting at Catra and Entrapta.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Bow,” Glimmer said, accepting the food Bow slid over to her, “why are you here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is the second time today that you’ve asked me this question,” Bow answered, “it’s like you just want to hear me say that I’m here for you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I like to be reminded,” Glimmer said casually, but Bow knew she meant it. She had a habit of forgetting that Bow wasn’t leaving.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine,” Bow said, “I’m here for you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And I’m here for you,” Glimmer said, “I don’t say that enough.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You say it in your own way,” Bow shrugged, “I know you mean it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do,” Glimmer said, yawning. She reached into her backpack on the floor for her coffee, and then made a noise of frustration when she realized it was empty.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am going to cry,” Glimmer deadpanned, “this is the worst moment of my life.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not sure you should be drinking anymore caffeine,” Bow replied, “I worry about you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why?” Glimmer said, while shaking her coffee tumbler to see if there were any extra drops at the bottom, “I am completely fine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re violently shaking your bottle,” Bow said, “and it’s twelve-thirty and you’re still half-asleep.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And I’d like to be fully asleep,” Glimmer replied, closing her eyes and resting her head on her folded arms but reaching out one hand to Bow, palm facing up. “Bow? Don’t get up and leave me while I’m sleeping.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I won’t leave you, I promise,” Bow said, taking Glimmer’s outstretched hand. In this context Bow was joking when he answered, but he’d always really mean it. “I’m not going anywhere.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. you left me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Six years ago</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Catra!” Glimmer said cheerfully, entering Catra’s room without knocking and sitting down on her bed. Catra looked up from where she was curled into her pillows and smiled. Glimmer, the best friend she still had.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” Catra replied, her voice small, because her voice was always small now that Adora was gone, “where were you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bow’s,” Glimmer answered, her eyes lighting up at the thought. Catra felt a pang of jealousy, remembering nights of sleeping over at Adora’s, butterflies in her stomach as Adora grinned, chocolate from the ice cream sundaes staining her face. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Adora</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Catra thought, and wished she could get her ex-best friend out of her head. Adora didn’t love her, Catra reminded herself. Adora had left her without even trying to stand up for her. Shadow Weaver had said all those mean things about Catra and Adora hadn’t done a single thing except leave. And yet, she was always on Catra’s mind. What did that mean?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you stay?” Catra asked, because usually Glimmer stayed over there. Catra would be at Adora’s, and Glimmer would be at Bow’s, and sometimes in between they’d be together. That was the rules, the <em>Catra-Glimmer best friends with other best friends</em> rules that they’d made up when they were nine. But, Catra figured, those rules didn’t really apply if Catra didn’t have her other best friend anymore. And maybe Glimmer knew that. Which kind of annoyed Catra, because that meant Glimmer was only here for her. Catra didn’t want Glimmer’s pity.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve been so sad lately,” Glimmer said, “I’m just making sure you’re okay. It’s not pity, promise. Don’t be mad at me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It still kind of </span>
  <em>
    <span>felt</span>
  </em>
  <span> like pity, Catra thought, but she didn’t say that out loud. Instead she said, “I’m not mad.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re a little mad,” Glimmer scooted over to where Catra was sitting and tilted her head, trying to meet Catra’s eyes, “I always know when you’re mad.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Glimmer did always know when Catra was mad, because Glimmer always knew everything about what people were feeling. It was fun when she did it on other people, but it freaked Catra out when it was used on her. But Glimmer didn’t mean it, Catra knew, she was just like that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine,” Catra groaned, “I’m a little mad. It’s just-just because Adora’s gone doesn’t mean you have to spend extra time with me! I know you’d rather hang out with Bow.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, you’d rather hang out with Adora,” Glimmer stated, “but you can’t. So I won’t hang out with Bow either, at least not all the time. Not when you’re still sad.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Catra was still sad, and she hated it. Adora switched schools in August, and now it was November. And Catra was still </span>
  <em>
    <span>so mad</span>
  </em>
  <span>! She missed her best friend more than anything, more than she probably should. But there was a longing and a pull at her insides begging to drag her to Adora, to run to Etheria Academy and throw her arms around Adora and plead with her to come back. But Catra knew that wasn’t possible, because Adora left her and didn’t want to be friends with her, and doing that would just embarrass Catra. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>still sad,” Catra hissed, lying even though she knew Glimmer would see right through it. Stupid Glimmer with her stupid way of always knowing how Catra was feeling all the time and her stupid idea that she could try and help. Probably that equally stupid Bow kid getting into her head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Glimmer sighed in defeat, “fine. Let’s talk about something else. Ummm, Adora asked about you in math today, I told her you were fine. Entrapta and I pulled another prank on Hordak, which was so funny cause all his fancy seventh-grade friends thought it was hilarious! Oh, and mom grounded me again cause I got a C on my science test, but I didn’t listen to her and snuck out. Oh! And guess what Bow said-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Glimmer stopped then, noticing Catra’s quiet expression. Glimmer’s smile faded as she looked at Catra with concern, and Catra hated how the sparkle was disappearing out of Glimmer’s eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Catra let out an exaggerated sigh before saying, “what did Bow say?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Glimmer’s face split into another grin, “Bow said his dads said he could come to Etheria for high school! Isn’t that cool? If he gets in, which he totally will, cause he’s so smart, then we’ll all be together! You can meet him and we can be friends and, well, Adora will be there but we don’t have to also be friends with her. And Bow and I would be together and that would be so fun! I don’t know if you’d like Bow, but he would totally like you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Catra liked it when Glimmer was this happy, and she considered the idea of meeting Bow. It all sounded nice, Catra thought, getting a new friend, although she wasn’t sure she liked the idea of hanging out with someone who Glimmer painted as optimistic and cheerful. That was too much like Adora for Catra’s heart to handle. And besides, Glimmer’s version of high school implied that Catra got in. But with her grades? She probably wouldn’t.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He sounds too much like Adora,” Catra shrugged, “but maybe I would like him. Still, how do you know either of us will get in?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t,” Glimmer realized, thoughtful, “but Bow says I should try to be optimistic. I wanted to tell him that here at Prime Tech you get the life sucked out of you until you can’t be happy anymore, but he wouldn’t understand. But still, I don’t see why either of us wouldn’t get in.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I get bad grades,” Catra said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But you could totally get them up!” Glimmer replied excitedly, and Catra narrowed her eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t believe that,” Catra said, “we don’t lie to each other like that. Adora used to do that, pretend like I was better than I am. And before you can answer, I’ll save you time-Bow does it too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry!” Glimmer cried, flopping down onto the pillows so she was lying next to Catra, “I know it’s hard when I talk about Bow because of Adora, but I see him all the time and then everything reminds me of him and then I want to talk to you about him and it’s just making you feel sadder.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Glimmer huffed and crossed her arms, looking genuinely upset. Catra considered for a moment before putting a hand on her arm, and Glimmer looked at her in surprise. Catra tried her best reassuring smile, not sure how to be kind since that was always Adora’s job. But Glimmer smiled back, and Catra leaned back against the pillows and closed her eyes. They stayed like that, in silence, and Catra thought about what Glimmer had said, about Bow. Glimmer did spend about half of her life since she came back from the library that day talking about Bow, but Catra had never minded because she’d get to talk about Adora after. But now Catra’s life had been turned entirely upside down while Glimmer’s stayed the same, and hearing Glimmer talk about Bow without being distracted by the knowledge that she had Adora-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It almost sounded like-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>No.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p><span>Glimmer liked</span> <span>Bow. Probably, Catra thought, she </span><em><span>loved </span></em><span>him.</span></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>But </span>
    <span>then, that meant-</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The way Glimmer talked about Bow-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>-Wasn’t that exactly how Catra felt about Adora?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That felt right, Catra realized. She was only eleven years old, and Adora was another girl, which should’ve felt weird but it </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>, because it made so much sense and Catra hated it because she hated Adora but also she didn’t, she really didn’t-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>-Catra was in love with her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The present</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After the day Catra realized she was in love with her best friend, she never talked about Adora again. Glimmer didn’t question it, which Catra greatly appreciated. For all her intuitiveness and slightly irritating care for other people, Glimmer didn’t pry or ask questions if she could tell she wouldn’t get an answer. And Catra wasn’t giving an answer, because Catra was never telling anyone her secret. Adora was gone, and Catra hated her and loved her at the same time, and nobody could know how Catra really felt. So she only showed the hate, pushing down all those other feelings because they were useless. Adora would never love Catra, and Catra didn’t want her to. Catra wanted to be angry at Adora forever, hate her forever. Because hate was better than the alternative. After that conversation, Catra had decided that she would bury all of these new feelings, forget they’d ever happened or that she’d ever realized them, and instead go back to just hating Adora. She’d forget about Adora, distract herself by finding other things to think about. Maybe she’d find out more about this Glimmer and Bow situation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Catra did try to find out more about that situation, but quickly figured out that there was literally nothing to it. Glimmer didn’t seem to realize that all of the things she was saying implied that there was more going on between her and Bow. Glimmer just kept on talking about him like normal, and Catra considered confronting her about the whole thing but decided against it. Catra figured she should give Glimmer some time to figure it out for herself. Of course, now it had been six damn years and she still hadn’t, except that now Glimmer had so much going on that she didn’t need the added stress of finding out she’d been in love with her best friend for years and only Catra had known. Glimmer was depressed and her mom just died and all she needed right now was support, not extra stress or problems. And Glimmer had started slipping years ago, probably around seventh grade, and Catra had only wanted to help her since then. Catra also wanted to fix herself, get rid of her feelings for Adora. Not because Adora was a girl, Catra didn’t care about that, but because it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>Adora</span>
  </em>
  <span>. But there was nothing Catra could do about that, so she spent years focusing on Glimmer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Glimmer, who Catra spent six years watching become less like Bow and more like her. Glimmer, who pushed away and eventually left the Princesses and became a loner at school once she separated from Entrapta. Glimmer, who’d been happy the day before Bow joined Etheria Academy, probably the happiest Catra had seen her in months. And when Glimmer came to Catra’s after school and shrugged that Bow became friends with the Princesses, Catra had expected her to be mad. Glimmer could stay mad at someone for the rest of her life if she wanted to. But Glimmer said she wasn’t mad, at least not really mad, she was just a little sad. But she’d said she’d get over it only because she didn’t want to lose Bow and Catra thought about telling her, then. But it still wasn’t right. Catra would give Glimmer a little more time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then Glimmer got worse and she spent some nights with Catra crying as she became more aware of how little time she actually spent with her dad. She got into worse and worse fights with her mom and then her resentment grew and then eventually they got her into therapy. Catra remembered watching all of that from the outside, hoping that Bow was somewhere to support Glimmer the way Catra couldn’t. Then Bow and Glimmer had that damn fight about Prime Tech that almost tore Glimmer apart, and Catra remembered knowing that those were the worst weeks of Glimmer’s life. Avoiding Bow and trying to push him away, the same way Catra had avoided Adora after Adora left. Except that later Glimmer apologized to Bow and he apologized back and then they were friends again. Catra had no reason to apologize to Adora, but she also wondered if maybe she should’ve. Apologized for nothing, just so that they could be friends again. Maybe more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Catra refused to let herself think that way, because it was unrealistic and never happening because Catra </span>
  <em>
    <span>hated </span>
  </em>
  <span>Adora. Catra hated Adora for leaving and that was how it would always be. And if Catra ever saw Adora again? Well. To put it one way, when Glimmer became irritable and started getting angry, lashing out, Catra didn’t get mad, because she understood. Glimmer was becoming like her, and that was okay because Catra could help with that. Glimmer could lash out at Catra all she wanted and she’d never have to apologize, because Catra did the same thing and Glimmer had always known that Catra hated apologizing. So Glimmer never made her. And sometimes, Catra would wonder whether Adora would have made her. But Catra also knew that if she and Adora were still friends, and Catra yelled at her, Catra would want to apologize immediately. She would want to apologize and put her arms around Adora and tell her that she loved her. It briefly occurred to Catra that Glimmer had once said something similar about Bow. So if Catra ever saw Adora again? Well. She would probably yell and then apologize and then confess her love.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Except it didn’t happen that way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Catra yelled, and Adora was almost crying, God, Catra was still so in love, but she didn’t apologize. Adora apologized, and suddenly Catra was filled with rage. Because she didn’t want Adora to apologize, she just wanted Adora to swear that she didn’t agree with what Shadow Weaver had said all those years ago. But Catra couldn't ask Adora to say that without sounding pathetic. And what if Adora did agree? Catra couldn’t hear that. So instead of hearing Adora out, Catra drowned out the rush of love and affection and </span>
  <em>
    <span>love</span>
  </em>
  <span> she had for Adora and instead focused her energy on all that hate. And she pushed Adora away and got off the bench and sulked in an empty classroom while Glimmer sat in silence next to her. And then Catra had first period, which she mostly spent observing Bow because of the whole Glimmer thing. He was nice, Catra noticed, really nice. Just like Glimmer had said. And he was very clearly Glimmer’s strongest lifeline, which made Catra happy. Or, at least as happy as Catra could be. Which...wasn’t very happy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And her happiness only decreased during fourth period English, which was taught by Shadow Weaver. Just her luck. Catra still hated Shadow Weaver, she’d always hated Shadow Weaver. And though she wouldn’t admit it, there was a small part of her that was also terrified of her. And angry, because Adora had left because of her. And then Adora was there, because of course she was in her mom’s class, and Bow was also there. Sitting in the front with Adora, laughing and smiling because they were close friends. Catra wondered how Glimmer saw Bow and Adora and didn’t get infuriated. Maybe it was because Adora left Catra, but Glimmer left Adora. Both Bow and Adora turned to glance at Catra multiple times, and she only met Bow’s eyes. Adora was too hard to look at, especially since Catra almost regretted yelling at her. Almost. Because rejecting Adora, leaving her the way she left Catra? It was almost damn therapeutic. And also extremely unhealthy. But Catra wasn’t friends with someone like Bow who would tell her that. And besides, Catra knew. She just didn’t care. She wouldn’t let herself care about Adora, not anymore.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“All you two do is stare at each other,” Bow said, startling Catra out of her thoughts. Annoyed, she realized she had been staring at Adora, over on the other side of the cafeteria. Entrapta and the Hordaks hadn’t noticed, busy talking to each other and Scorpia, who had come to hang out with them. As Catra turned back to look at them, Scorpia grinned widely and waved at Catra, which made her smile so she waved back. Scorpia was warm and kind, but in a different way than Adora or Bow was. Scorpia still understood Catra similar to the way Glimmer did. Catra then turned back to Bow, who was still waiting for a response. Glimmer had her head on the table and was passed out, and Bow was holding one of her hands. Cute, Catra thought briefly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wasn’t staring,” Catra snapped, but obviously she was lying. And then the other part of that sentence hit her, “wait, Adora stares at me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bow laughed, “yeah, she’s always looking at you. She wanted to talk to you really bad for like, all of English, but I told her to give you space. I figured you’d want it after this morning.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Isn’t Adora your friend?” Catra asked, maybe a little harsher than necessary, “not me. Why are you helping me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can be friends with both of you,” Bow shrugged, and Catra snorted. “Fine,” Bow said, “but you’re Glimmer’s friend. And besides, I’m trying not to get involved in your drama, and giving Adora advice on how to talk to you is definitely getting involved.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fair enough,” Catra replied, “you don’t want to get involved in all of this. There isn’t even anything going on between me and Adora, anyway. Not anymore.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bow looked skeptical, but he nodded. “Okay,” he said, “but also she’s coming over here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Catra said sharply, irritated. “Again?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Glimmer snapped up from her sleep, bleary-eyed, and was met with a glaring Catra. Glimmer followed Catra’s gaze and then groaned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, come </span>
  <em>
    <span>on</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” she muttered, “why does this keep happening?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This doesn’t even affect you,” Catra said, “you can go back to sleep.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But the drama,” Glimmer said sarcastically, and she put her head back on top of her hands but kept looking at Adora.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Adora!” Bow said brightly before Catra could do anything, and Catra saw that Bow was speaking through his teeth, “what happened to space?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just want to talk to Catra,” Adora replied, “just for a second, outside.” She met Catra’s eyes, and Catra tried to ignore the twisting of her insides.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please, Catra?” Adora said softly, and Catra let out a small, angry hiss. She couldn’t refuse Adora, could she? Catra was still weak in the knees for her ex-best friend.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine,” Catra said, quiet but angry. She got up from her table and followed Adora, pretending not to see both Bow and Glimmer watching her. Adora led Catra outside, where they stood between two walls of lockers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you want?” Catra asked coldly, “and make it quick.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Catra,” Adora started, and then sighed. Catra refused to think about how </span>
  <span>amazing it was to finally, after six years, hear Adora say her name this many times. Catra had, against her will, really missed that voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just want to be friends again,” Adora continued, “I know you don’t want to talk to me but I can’t just stop trying to get my best friend back. Come on, Catra, can’t we be friends again? It’s not too late.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And more than anything, Catra wanted to say yes. She wanted to say yes and hug Adora and tell her that everything was okay between them again, but that wasn’t true. Catra was in love, but she was still mad. And she still hated Adora. And Catra wasn’t ready to just throw away six years of hating Adora and become friends again just because of one apology. Catra was done. She had her friends, and she didn’t need Adora.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s too late for me,” Catra responded, “stop trying, Adora. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>left </span>
  </em>
  <span>me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But it was Shadow Weaver’s fault!” Adora cried out, and while Catra knew that was technically true, good <em>God</em> did she that excuse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, you know what, Adora?” Catra started, barking out a laugh that made Adora’s eyes widen, “you could’ve protested more. Stood up for me, maybe? Because I know the only reason Shadow Weaver made you leave was because of </span>
  <em>
    <span>me. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She hated me, and she didn’t want you around me. That’s why she forced you to leave. And don’t even pretend to deny it,” Catra was almost yelling now, “because I heard her talking to you! I heard her tell you to switch schools and leave me, and you didn’t even stand up for me! Or, do you also think that I’m ‘nothing but a bad influence who ruins everything she touches?’ Adora? Is that what you think of me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Adora was almost crying now, and Catra felt a little bad, “no, Catra, of course not. I don’t feel that way at all, I-I didn’t even know you heard that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Catra scoffed, shaking her head and turning around, walking back to the cafeteria.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Catra, wait!” Adora shouted, grabbing Catra’s wrist. Catra shook herself out of Adora’s grip.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Catra, please,” Adora was crying now, “I lo-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Catra whirled around and shoved Adora into the lockers, growling. Adora’s eyes widened, and Catra tried to ignore how close they were. Catra looked into Adora’s beautiful blue eyes, filled with tears, and Catra glared. She was well aware that people were watching them now, but Catra didn’t care. She couldn’t hear Adora say it, not when Catra was still mad at her, and not when it would never mean what Catra wanted it to mean.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stay the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck </span>
  </em>
  <span>away from me,” Catra warned, voice low and dangerous. Adora nodded, and Catra let go and stalked away. She could hear Adora’s sobs from behind her, and then Catra heard the door to a classroom open, and a familiar voice, a horrible voice, and footsteps approaching.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Catra,” Shadow Weaver said, and Catra slowly turned around, scared, “violence is not tolerated on this campus.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, Sha-mom,” Adora sniffled, “it’s fine, I started it-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Well, that was a blatant lie. There was no need for Adora to lie, Shadow Weaver would never believe that, anyway. Adora was her golden child.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s a lie,” Shadow Weaver said, predictably. “However, both of you partook in this childish fight. Unfortunately, I’m putting you both in detention this afternoon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Adora said, no doubt worried about her stupid grades, “but it’s the first day of school! Can’t we get leniency?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not for violence,” Shadow Weaver said sternly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Catra wasn’t sure how Shadow Weaver could do that, but she was also surprised that Adora hadn’t gotten off free. Maybe things had changed in their household since Catra stopped coming there. Still, Catra thought, one detention didn’t mean anything.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine,” Adora said, “we’ll go after school.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good,” Shadow Weaver nodded, and glared at Catra before going back into her classroom. Adora sighed and slumped against the wall as the door closed, and Catra spared her one glance before walking away. Catra was not going to feel bad for getting Adora into detention, this was Adora’s fault. Her fault for leaving, her fault for not standing up to Shadow Weaver, her fault for being so undoubtedly amazing that Catra just had to go and fall in love with her-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s all Adora’s fault, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Catra told herself as she rejoined her friends at lunch and they looked at her expectantly, wanting to know what happened. Catra glared at all of them; they didn’t take it personally and just went back to what they were doing. Catra had known them since birth, they knew how to deal with Catra lashing out. Bow, at the other table, had gotten up to go to Adora, who had come in after Catra and looked visibly upset. Catra felt a hand on her arm and looked down to see Glimmer, mirroring the same gesture Catra had done for her six years ago. Catra sighed and closed her eyes, and Glimmer didn’t try to talk to her. And, just like that day, Catra thought about Adora. But none of this was really Adora’s fault, was it? This mess that they had gotten into today? Everything that happened six years ago? Sure, Adora had started it by leaving, and Catra was always going to be mad at her for not standing up to Shadow Weaver. But the rest of it?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That was all Catra.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. we were always friends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>the chapter count might change, but for now its pretty set</p>
<p>also I'm gonna be updating this every Wednesday now</p>
<p>:)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>By the end of lunch, Glimmer was pretty sure she’d murder the next person who mentioned her mom. She knew people were just being polite, because that’s how you were supposed to treat someone who’s mom just died, but Glimmer hated it when people treated her like she was fragile. People who Glimmer was pretty sure had never liked her in their lives were coming up to her and quietly offering their condolences. Glimmer figured this was what happened when your mother was well-known enough around school that every single person knew that she died. And, since it was private school and everyone knew everyone, people knew that Glimmer was prone to anger outbursts and had a short temper. This combination led to people being almost afraid to talk to her, but their conscience and need to be kind made them come up to her anyway. Their condolences were obligatory and often insincere, or maybe Glimmer just felt that way and was interpreting it wrong because of how annoyed she was. At this point, Glimmer had finished her coffee, it had passed 1pm so she no longer felt the need to always be sleeping, and she was tired of all the drama that was going on.</p>
<p>Glimmer had known that there would be drama and issues the moment Catra had told her she was joining Etheria Academy, but she hadn’t expected it to start this soon and become this violent already. Glimmer had barely spent half a day at school before Catra had lashed out at Adora, pushed her against the lockers with what Glimmer felt was an odd amount of sexual tension, and then they both got detention. Naturally, Catra spent the rest of lunch silent and brooding, and Glimmer just sat with her and tried not to say anything. Glimmer had always been prone to verbal outbursts, but Catra was the one of them who got more physical. Glimmer didn’t necessarily approve, or think that what Catra did was right, or good, but considering the number of times Glimmer yelled at people she figured she had no right to speak. Instead Glimmer focused on comforting Catea in silence, the way they both liked, and Glimmer waited out the rest of lunch by refilling her coffee with half of Hordak’s bottle and staring at Bow, which wasn’t as creepy as it sounded. </p>
<p>Bow was with Adora at the Princess table, obviously attempting to comfort her in a very different way than Glimmer was with Catra. Bow had his arm around Adora’s shoulders and he was talking to her, trying to get her to smile or laugh. That was what happened when nice extroverts made friends with each other, Glimmer thought. Lots of talking. The entire situation of having Bow be her friend at school was actually pretty nice, and Glimmer was trying to get rid of her stubbornness enough to admit that. Maybe she had needed that extra support, because every time someone mentioned her mom to her she just remembered that she could find Bow after class ended without it being weird. They already had two classes together, which was nice because now she could actually hang out with him there. Honestly, Glimmer wasn’t entirely sure why they hadn’t been doing this the entire time. Well, she did know it was because she’d been stubborn about being the outcast and letting Bow embrace his popular, lots of friends self without Glimmer getting in the way. </p>
<p>But things were different this year, because Glimmer’s mom was the last straw and now Glimmer needed her best friend more than anything. Which she hadn’t even realized, but Bow always knew what Glimmer needed and therefore spent the entire morning making sure she was okay and supporting her. Sometimes Glimmer felt bad about it, because she didn’t do enough to repay him for all of that, but the rest of Glimmer knew that if Bow ever needed help and support the way Glimmer did, she would gladly drop everything to be there for him. Although Bow had a hard time voicing when he was struggling, but Glimmer was sure she could figure it out. She always knew when he was having a hard time with his dads, anyway, and that was usually what caused him the most stress. One of Glimmer’s worst fears was that she wasn’t a good enough friend for Bow. Bow wasn’t like Catra, who had low expectations for Glimmer and was also exactly like Glimmer, so Catra was easy to comfort and easy to understand. Glimmer did understand Bow, very well, but she always worried that she wasn’t doing enough. That he was somehow struggling in his own way and Glimmer was supposed to just know that and find some way to help. Because Bow always knew when she was struggling, and why didn’t it work both ways? </p>
<p>In reality, Glimmer could easily tell when Bow was struggling, but how did she know that there weren’t other times that she didn’t notice? Or maybe Glimmer was just entirely obvious when she was sad and it was easy to pick up on. Glimmer wasn’t self-aware enough to know how she acted when she was sad or to know how Bow knew when she was sad. Glimmer didn’t know how she knew when Bow was particularly frustrated or tired, either, she just kind of did. There was no explaining it, but Glimmer wished there was so that she could figure out if she was doing all of this right. There was a time when none of this mattered, back when they were young and everything was easy. But now they were older and Glimmer was an overthinker and she knew it couldn’t be as hard as she was making it out to be. It wasn’t a prominent worry in Glimmer’s head, but sometimes when she watched how easily Bow was there for Adora, Glimmer wondered if that was what he needed, cheerful talking and cracking jokes, and if she could even do that for him.</p>
<p>Fortunately for Glimmer, the person in the most immediate distress at the moment was Catra, and Glimmer knew exactly how to help her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“First day of school, and you’ve got detention with Adora,” Glimmer teased, “how are you feeling, Catra?”</p>
<p>“Please stop rubbing it in,” Catra complained. They were in fifth-period psychology ( which they both took for no reason other than having a guaranteed class with each other), and while Glimmer felt bad for Catra, she could not resist teasing her about this whole Adora situation.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” Glimmer said, not sorry at all, “want me to go with you?”</p>
<p>Catra looked at her in confusion, “to detention?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Glimmer replied, “I’m annoying enough, I’ll find a way to get in.”</p>
<p>“How would that help either of us?” Catra asked, “it just ruins your record on the first day of school.”</p>
<p>“I don’t really care,” Glimmer shrugged, “my grades have gone to shit anyway. And I could come to act as a buffer between you and Adora. So that you aren’t just staring at each other the entire time while trying to repress your mutual sexual tension.”</p>
<p>Catra spit out the coffee she’d been drinking out of Glimmer’s cup, and Glimmer mourned the loss of the liquid. She also grinned, knowing she’d hit some kind of nerve on Catra.</p>
<p>“Our...what?” Catra choked out.</p>
<p>“Come on,” Glimmer said, “you can’t shove someone up against the lockers, end up that close to each other, and tell me your rivalry doesn't have a spark?"</p>
<p>“There is <em> no spark </em>  our rivalry,” Catra protested, “and we don’t even have a rivalry. We-we don’t have <em> anything </em>. We’re nothing.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Glimmer replied, “well, in that case, if there’s <em> nothing </em>between you and Adora, you won’t be needing me as a buffer, correct?”</p>
<p>“That is correct,” Catra confirmed, sounding pained but not wanting to backtrack. When Glimmer had teased romantic attraction she’d been joking, but judging from Catra’s reaction to it, Glimmer wondered if she’d really been that far off. Catra hadn’t talked about Adora in years, but now that they were again, it didn’t escape Glimmer that when she’d said Adora’s name Catra’s face turned pink. And Catra had never been one for blushing, which made Glimmer think. Still, Glimmer was intuitive but she wasn’t Bow, and she wasn’t going to pry or get involved. She’d just observe Catra from a distance and slowly figure out what was going on, because that was what Glimmer did.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Glimmer said, turning away from Catra as the bell rang and the door opened. The teacher walked in, and the moment Glimmer saw her she let out a groan and rolled her eyes. </p>
<p>“Light Hope is our psych teacher?” Catra whispered to Glimmer, “isn’t she, like, heartless?”</p>
<p>“No fucking emotions,” Glimmer nodded, “but psych is about the brain, not the heart. Or something. I don’t know science. I don’t pay attention when the doctor explains the chemical parts of my depression.”</p>
<p>“Fair,” Catra said, “and you’re gonna be fine in class with her?”</p>
<p>“Doubt it,” Glimmer answered, “I hate her.”</p>
<p>Glimmer did have a long and personal history with Light Hope, who she resented for multiple reasons. Light Hope worked at Prime Tech, and she headed a gifted program meant for kids of Prime Tech employees to start an intensive path towards becoming a mindless worker for Prime Tech. Not even Entrapta or Hordak were in the program, Entrapta because she valued scientific freedom and Hordak because he did not thrive in group programs like that. Somehow Prime had let him stay out of that one. And Glimmer was continually glad that Bow’s dads worked at a library, because had Glimmer lost Bow to the system she probably would have committed a crime against the company. But Glimmer was in the summer before her sophomore year when Light Hope tried to recruit Glimmer for the program, just like she had been since Glimmer was little. But this time it was worse because Light Hope pretty much almost forced her into it, and Glimmer almost had to do it until her mom had put a stop to it. Angella used to work at Prime Tech, but she had never liked Light Hope or the company, really, and had probably only worked there to be close to Glimmer’s father. Glimmer had always been upset with her mom as a kid, for whatever stupid reason, but her mom had never been one for forcing Glimmer into Prime Tech.</p>
<p>Light Hope trying to recruit Glimmer into the program was also the result of her worst fight with Bow, the one they still tried not to bring up because it hurt too much to think about. That was probably what Glimmer hated her the most for; almost ruining the best friendship of her life by making Glimmer unreasonably insecure that Bow would join Prime Tech and get into it the way that the kids from the gifted program were. And then he’d join the Prime Tech hive mind and change and become like Light Hope or Shadow Weaver or even Glimmer’s father and then Glimmer would be all alone again. The whole thing was entirely unrealistic, because Bow was different from all those other people. Light Hope and Glimmer’s dad were grown adults, while Bow was Glimmer’s age and her best friend and, despite Glimmer’s shot self-esteem, she knew he cared about her. More than Glimmer’s dad ever would, or ever did. Glimmer couldn’t even remember the last time she’d actually talked to her dad, but Glimmer could remember exactly what she and Bow did the last time they’d talked because it had been literally barely ten minutes ago. And they’d talk again in sixth period Spanish, which they had together. And besides, Glimmer tried to remind herself, he’d promised not to leave her and she’d promised to become better for him and they’d both been keeping their promises. Well, Bow kept his. Glimmer tried to keep hers.</p>
<p>“Glimmer,” Light Hope said, and Glimmer’s head snapped up and she was jolted out of her thoughts. She looked at Catra in confusion, and Catra mouthed <em> roll call </em>. Glimmer nodded, said “here,” and thought that would be the end of it. But then Light Hope didn’t call the next name, and instead looked straight at Glimmer. Glimmer squirmed under the look, hating Light Hope’s pierced gaze that had been set on her multiple times in the past. Briefly, Glimmer wished she didn’t somehow have a personal connection to so many teachers in her school, because now she dreaded class a lot more than she already would have otherwise. Light Hope was silent for only a few seconds, but for Glimmer it felt like an hour before Light Hope spoke up again.</p>
<p>“I am so sorry for your loss,” Light Hope said, sounding sympathetic but Glimmer heard the monotone edge to her tone, “my condolences about your mother.”</p>
<p>Because Glimmer was hotheaded and impulsive and never thought before she spoke, before she knew it she was letting out a short, disbelieving laugh.</p>
<p>“Don’t fucking talk to me about my mother,” Glimmer scoffed, rolling her eyes. It took her a few seconds before she realized the gravity of what she’d done, and when she saw most of the class and Light Hope staring at her, she sighed to herself. “Well, shit.”</p>
<p>From the desk next to her, Catra snorted.</p>
<p>“I expect you to be in detention after school today,” was all Light Hope had to say, before turning back to her roll sheet and calling the next person on the sheet. Glimmer cursed herself out internally, despite the fact that she found herself not really caring that she had detention on the first day of school. Detention wasn’t even that bad, really, as long as they had a good moderator. And Glimmer was pretty sure she’d heard her Aunt Casta complaining over the phone to her wife that she was on detention duty today. As long as it was Aunt Casta, Glimmer would be fine. And Catra, and Adora, Glimmer remembered. </p>
<p>“Guess I’m gonna be your buffer, anyway,” Glimmer muttered to Catra, “you’re welcome.”</p>
<p>“Shut up,” Catra hissed back.</p>
<p>“I bet Bow will be there, too,” Glimmer said, thoughtful, “he’d have the same thought process as me about this whole buffer thing, except that Adora would actually let him do it.”</p>
<p>“Bow?” Catra asked, “really? What’s he getting detention for?”</p>
<p>“Crop top,” Glimmer replied immediately, “that’s all he ever gets detention for.”</p>
<p>“This school regularly dress codes people for wearing crop tops?” Catra said, incredulous, “God, I wish I hadn’t come here.”</p>
<p>“But then I’d be so lonely,” Glimmer joked, and Catra sighed in mock defeat.</p>
<p>“Wouldn’t want you to be lonely,” Catra responded sarcastically.</p>
<p>Glimmer allowed herself a small smile before she turned away to take notes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>By the end of the school day, Glimmer had had Spanish with Bow, which was generally fine because she was with Bow and Sea Hawk, who made an effort to talk to Glimmer when none of the other Princesses were there. Glimmer did like Sea Hawk, and they had a decent amount in common, but in the end he was too outgoing and Glimmer was too awkward for them to be very good friends. Finally, Glimmer suffered through an unbearable English class with the Hordaks, who hated English about as much as she did. They preferred science and math classes, while Glimmer just found English to be too easy and very boring. Still, they had each other and that was better than nothing. By the end of the day Glimmer was out of coffee, having borrowed from a total of Hordak, Scorpia, Wrong Hordak, and Perfuma. Perfuma had been an entirely awkward exchange, but Glimmer was desperate for caffeine. Unfortunately, this resulted in an interrogation about <em> when </em> Gimmer became friends with Bow and <em> how long </em> has this been going on and <em> why </em>didn’t Bow tell her when they were briefly dating for like one day over the summer before sophomore year? Glimmer refrained from telling her that Bow and Perfuma had gone out during the exact time Bow and Glimmer had been fighting, and broken up about an hour before they made up. That had been a weird night for the both of them, Glimmer remembered.</p>
<p>Either way, by three ten in the afternoon Glimmer was fresh out of her stash of Perfuma’s coffee, and was not looking forward to detention. Her only hope was that Aunt Casta was the moderator, and normally she was pretty cool during detention. Glimmer told Catra that as they walked to Casta’s classroom, where Glimmer walked in and saw Adora and Bow sitting at desks in the middle of the room.</p>
<p>“See?” Glimmer heard Bow tell Adora, “I told you Glimmer would be here.” Glimmer thought it was nice to know that she and Bow did, in fact, have the exact same thought process as her. From the side of her vision, Glimmer saw Catra give Glimmer a weird look.</p>
<p>“Hey, Bow,” Glimmer said, sliding into a desk next to him while Catra sat on Glimmer’s other side, farthest from Adora, “I figured you’d be here. Crop top?”</p>
<p>“Obviously,” Bow answered, “and you said fuck?”</p>
<p>Glimmer sighed. “I said fuck.”</p>
<p>“Who gave you detention?” Catra asked Bow, “you seem like someone who the teachers would let a crop top pass by.”</p>
<p>“Not Light Hope,” Bow replied.</p>
<p>“Light Hope gave me detention, too,” Glimmer said, “but it was her own fault for mentioning my mother.”</p>
<p>“You could’ve kept your mouth shut,” Catra countered.</p>
<p>“But that’s no fun,” Glimmer replied, and Catra and Bow both rolled their eyes. Glimmer noticed that Adora had been uncharacteristically silent at the same time Bow did, and Bow was about to turn and say something to her when Casta walked into her classroom.</p>
<p>“What’s no fun?” Aunt Catra asked, “and Glimmer, why are you here?”</p>
<p>“I said fuck,” Glimmer replied.</p>
<p>“She has no self-control,” Catra added unhelpfully.</p>
<p>“But in her defense, Light Hope mentioned Angella,” Bow argued.</p>
<p>“I hate Light Hope,” Casta sighed, “which I shouldn’t say, since she’s my colleague, but I know all of you on a personal level so I think it’s okay.”</p>
<p>Casta did know all of them on a personal level, Bow and Catra because they were Glimmer’s friends and Adora because Casta and Glimmer’s dad knew Shadow Weaver.</p>
<p>“Speaking of which,” Casta said, looking over the group, “what happened to the rest of you?”</p>
<p>“Crop top,” Bow said, at the same time Catra replied, “violence.”</p>
<p>“Same as Catra,” Adora said after, sounding physically pained that she was in this situation.</p>
<p>“Violence on the first day of school,” Casta mused, “well, I don’t have anything for you four to do, so just sit and talk until the hour is up. I don’t really care.”</p>
<p>Catra sat at her desk, opened her computer, and didn’t give the four of them another look.</p>
<p>“I told you she’d be good,” Glimmer told Catra.</p>
<p>“Sitting and doing nothing for an hour is not my definition of good,” Catra muttered back.</p>
<p>“There’s four of us here,” Bow started, “and the situation is kind of weird, but we can have a conversation.”</p>
<p>“Only you would say that,” Glimmer replied, “the atmosphere here is entirely too awkward for any kind of a normal conversation.”</p>
<p>“What?” Adora spoke up, “no! Don’t say that, we can find something to talk about.”</p>
<p>“I bet you can’t find something to talk about in the next thirty seconds,” Glimmer challenged.</p>
<p>“Challenge accepted,” Adora shot back, and Glimmer was briefly aware that talking to Adora was somehow still so easy. Like they were still friends.</p>
<p>“Oh!” Adora said, “I’ve got one!” She turned around in her desk in front of Bow’s and slammed one hand on Bow’s desk and the other on Glimmer’s. “You two,” she ordered, “timeline. Now.” </p>
<p>“Timeline of what?” Bow asked.</p>
<p>“You two,” Adora said again, dragging her finger in between Bow and Glimmer, “and your whole we’ve-actually-been-friends-this-entire-time thing.”</p>
<p>“Bow never told you he was friends with Glimmer?” Catra laughed, “I could’ve told you that when we were still friends.”</p>
<p>“Well I knew about it <em> then</em>,” Adora pouted, “Glimmer told me. But I didn’t know they were still friends after freshman year.”</p>
<p>“How did no one figure it out?” Catra asked, “you both somehow went three years without talking about each other to everyone you know? Is that why Glimmer started increasing the length of her daily About Bow rant?”</p>
<p>"Hey," Glimmer protested, "I don't have About Bow rants."</p>
<p>"Yes you do," Catra said curtly, "don't even try to deny it."</p>
<p>"I'm denying it because it isn't true," Glimmer rolled her eyes, "and, Adora, we’ve been friends since we were eight and we were always friends during high school.” Except for one month. Glimmer met Bow’s eyes and knew he was thinking the same thing. She smiled at him, because all had been forgiven for years, and Bow smiled back.</p>
<p>“Nobody figured it out because we both purposely kept it a secret,” Bow added, and Glimmer noticed his face was a little flushed. She wondered why.</p>
<p>“Why?” Adora asked, “that seems like a dumb idea.”</p>
<p>“Blame Glimmer,” Bow gestured to Glimmer, who rolled her eyes.</p>
<p>“You were having fun with the Princesses,” Glimmer protested, “being friends with me would’ve made it awkward with them. I didn’t wanna ruin your fancy popular kid status. Especially since your dads-”</p>
<p>“Shhhh!” Bow hissed, and Glimmer looked at him in surprise, “you never told Adora?”</p>
<p>“Told me what?” Adora crossed her arms, “and if Catra knows about whatever this is, I swear to God-”</p>
<p>“Bow’s dads?” Catra asked, “I know about that.”</p>
<p>“<em>Glimmer</em>,” Bow complained.</p>
<p>“What?” Glimmer put her hands up in defense, “I had to rant to someone about how stupid the whole thing is.”</p>
<p>“It’s not <em> stupid</em>.”</p>
<p>“It’s kind of stupid.”</p>
<p>“Shut up, Catra.”</p>
<p>“Okay, what the hell are you three talking about?” Adora said, sounding annoyed.</p>
<p>“You need to start telling your friends more stuff,” Glimmer told Bow, “why doesn’t she know about your dads?”</p>
<p>“She knows most of it,” Bow replied, “about how they want me to take over the library and be a historian and such. She doesn’t know about...the rest of it.”</p>
<p>“What’s the rest of it?” Adora looked at Bow expectantly.</p>
<p>“It's-” Bow looked at Glimmer, which she found odd considering that she kept on telling him that the thing with his dads really wasn’t that big of a deal. Nobody was judging him, nobody was going to think he was selfish. How could anyone possibly think that about Bow? Glimmer was the selfish one in their friendship. But, Glimmer remembered, she could tell when something was bothering Bow. and his past and his dads, while it didn’t seem like a big deal to Glimmer, it was important to Bow. And as his best friend, that meant it was just as important to Glimmer. And that was why he was looking at her, Glimmer realized, for the same support that he always and unconditionally gave her. </p>
<p>“You should tell her,” Glimmer said softly, and then, not really caring that Adora and Catra were watching, she reached across the table and squeezed Bow’s hand. Glimmer could feel Catra’s eyes on her back, but she didn’t think anything of it. She was more focused on Bow, who smiled at Glimmer. One of Glimmer’s favorite things was when Bow smiled at her and it reached his eyes and it wasn’t the general grin he used on other people. This smile was just for her. </p>
<p>“Again,” Adora interrupted, clearing her throat, “tell me what?”</p>
<p>Glimmer put her head in her hands on the desk and tilted her face so she could watch Bow and Adora, settling in for what had already been and probably would continue to be the most eventful first day of school possibly ever.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. i’m fine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adora was fairly certain this was the worst day of her life. She’d thought the worst day of her life was the one when she’d had to leave Catra, but no. Confronting Catra, begging for forgiveness, and instead being outright <em> rejected </em> , twice in the same day was much worse. Adora had been pretty naive, she thought. She’d really believed that her and Catra would just slip back into easily being friends, that Adora could simply apologize and everything would be okay. And in Adora’s mind, she still believed that. If the roles were reversed, if Catra had been the one to leave, Adora would’ve forgiven her, right? Adora knew she would've. But Catra and Adora were two different people. Adora was kinder, more forgiving, she couldn’t bear to lose her friends so she was quick to forgive or apologize after a fight. But Catra? Catra had never cared like that. Catra held grudges and got mad and lashed out. Catra wasn’t so easy to apologize to. And Adora should've known that, she used to be Catra’s <em> best friend </em>, for God’s sake, but for some reason Adora had done things the way she would want them. She hadn’t really considered what Catra would prefer in this kind of situation, had she?</p>
<p>But what Catra would have wanted, Adora thought, was for her to just leave her alone. And then, there would be no chances of the two of them ever being friends again. And sure, maybe Catra was okay with that (although Adora didn’t really believe that), but Adora wasn’t. Adora had known since she’d heard the news about Catra coming to Etheria that she had to try and be Catra’s friend again. So Adora had tried, twice, and been rejected both times. She’d also cried, both times, sobbing loudly and in public because more than anything she wanted her friend back, she wanted Catra back-</p>
<p>-and honestly, Adora wasn’t sure why.</p>
<p>Adora wasn’t sure why she’d spent all summer since she heard the news fantasizing about seeing Catra again, what she would say, what she would do. Adora wasn’t sure why she’d seen Catra on the bench that morning and felt so inexplicably drawn to her, like a magnet, needing to be near her and see her and talk to her. Adora wasn’t sure why she hadn’t taken the rejection the first time, why she’d come back for more during lunch. Why she’d sucked her breath in when Catra shoved her against those lockers, heart beating out of her chest, and why she’d almost said those three words.</p>
<p><em> I love you</em>.</p>
<p>And Adora did love Catra, her best friend, despite not having seen her in six years. Adora loved her, and she wasn’t sure why. The only thing Adora was sure of, was that every time she saw Catra all she wanted was to be her friend again. So Adora kept trying to apologize, to make it right, and Catra kept rejecting her. And Adora had a feeling that she was going to keep doing it. Adora was going to keep feeling the pain of her best friend rejecting her, and Adora wasn’t going to care. She was the worst kind of masochist. Honestly, Adora wasn’t sure how to explain anything that had to do with her and Catra. She’d expected to be angrier at the prospect of detention, and she was pretty mad that she’d been given detention, by her <em> mother </em>, no less, on the first day of school; but there was a part of Adora’s heart that beat with happiness at the idea of seeing Catra again. Because there wasn’t any reason for Adora to hang out with Catra anymore, now that it was confirmed that they would never be friends, which meant that Adora would take any chance to be close to Catra. So Adora accepted her detention, feeling angry and resentful at her mother, but excited at the prospect of seeing Catra again.</p>
<p>But, as always, there was still the issue of her mother. Shadow Weaver had been a good mother when Adora was a child, loving her and seeing the best in her and understanding that Adora was smart, advanced, intelligent. She gave Adora all the praises she craved to hear, which, in hindsight, was probably why she never stood up for Catra. Shadow Weaver told Adora that she was good, that she was better. And it never occurred to Adora that she was simultaneously calling Catra inferior. Which she wasn’t., and would never be. Catra was loyal and tough and better than Adora in so many ways. Not that Adora would ever get the chance to say that to Catra again. Unless she did during detention, but the idea of doing that made her face hot with the prospect of rejection again. And either way, Adora was too preoccupied with the worry of how this was going to <em> look </em>, detention on the first day of senior year. And why hadn’t Shadow Weaver let Adora off the hook? Adora hadn’t started the violence or done anything, although she probably would have if Shadow Weaver hadn’t intervened. Adora was never beyond throwing the occasional punch, but usually Bow stopped her before she did something stupid. But there was something about Catra that made Adora want to simultaneously punch her and hug the living daylights out of her. </p>
<p>And maybe it was that love-hate feeling that Shadow Weaver had sensed that made her drive Catra out of Adora’s life. Maybe Shadow Weaver thought that Adora shouldn’t have a friend she loved that passionately, because it would distract her from her studies. Adora had never really understood why Shadow Weaver made her leave schools, only that it was because Adora was <em> gifted </em>. But as she grew older and the ache in her heart from missing Catra grew larger, Adora wondered if being gifted was even that great. Shadow Weaver’s expectations grew as Adora’s motivation lessened, and Adora was stuck regretting all her life choices. And Adora’s rebellious streak grew from there, sneaking into parties and getting drunk, vomiting in Sea Hawk’s toilet while Bow held her hair back. Adora stopped participating in class, barely attempting homework and then cramming all night to get a perfect grade on her exam. By the time junior year rolled around Adora’s relationship with her mother was extremely strained, so Adora shook away her gifted kid burnout, told herself that she had to get into college, and viewed to actually get good grades again. And she’d lasted, for that whole year. She still got drunk, stopped raising her hand as much, but she did her homework and stopped procrastinating. And she was planning on continuing that in senior year, but, well, plans change.</p>
<p>And now Adora was struck in detention, with nobody to keep her company except for her ex-best friend, the person she loved and hated most in the world.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I could keep you company,” Bow said, jarring Adora out of her thoughts.</p>
<p>“What?” Adora looked at Bow, sitting at the desk next to her in their sixth-period psychology class.</p>
<p>“In detention,” Bow clarified, “I can come with you. You’ve been ranting about it since lunch ended, and I know it can’t be fun being stuck with Catra.”</p>
<p>Adora scoffed, “I’ll be fine. You don’t need to ruin your record for me.”</p>
<p>“I mean,” Bow shrugged, “it would be ruined anyway. I get tons of detentions.”</p>
<p>“Right,” Adora nodded, “your crop tops.”</p>
<p>“Yep,” Bow said, already unzipping his jacket to reveal the gold crop top he was under, “Light Hope’ll bust me, and then we’ll have detention together. I can be, like, a buffer between you and Catra.”</p>
<p>Adora huffed, “fine. But only because I’ll probably combust if I’m in the same room as Catra again. Or she’ll kill me. Whichever one comes first.”</p>
<p>Bow laughed, and then his gaze softened. “Adora,” he said, “are you okay? I know I’ve been joking about it, but I know it must be hard being rejected like that, and I just want you to know that I’m always here for you.”</p>
<p><em> Bow </em>, Adora sighed, always there for everyone. “I’m fine,” Adora assured, “I mean obviously it hurts, but I’ll get over it. As long as you’re there with me.”</p>
<p>“Always,” Bow said without hesitation.</p>
<p>“You are way too nice,” Adora said, but she was appreciative of it. She would be nowhere without Bow’s insufferable kindness. Bow had been there for her since freshman year, becoming her friend and never pushing her to talk about Catra. He was the first person to really get her to open up, telling him about her issues with her mom and her self-doubt and insecurity. And Bow had responded with open arms, giving her advice when she needed it and being a shoulder to cry on otherwise. Bow was a wonderful free therapist, Adora thought, which was probably because both his best friends were sadder than they let on. And Catra, too, Adora thought. If Bow ever became friends with Catra through Glimmer, which he probably would, he would easily become someone Catra could talk to. Adora wondered how that would work out for Bow, hearing both sides to a story that spanned years before he’d met either of them. Bow would work it out, Adora knew, and find a way to help. Because he was Bow, and he helped everyone except for himself. Adora wished he would help himself.</p>
<p>“I try,” Bow responded casually, just as the bell rang and class started. </p>
<p>“Showtime,” Bow whispered to Adora, taking his jacket off and making a big show out of stretching his arms. Adora snorted, mostly because Bow never did things like this out of his own accord. This display was for Adora, to protect her, to be there for her. Because that was what Bow was best at. And Adora was eternally grateful for it. For once, she didn’t have to be the nice one. And maybe that was selfish, but she’d voiced that insecurity to Bow before and he’d told her not to worry about it. But, of course, Adora still worried. She was a chronic worrier, and she’d probably never stop.</p>
<p>Light Hope’s eyes trained onto Bow, watching the obvious dress code violation play out before her.</p>
<p>“Bow,” she said, and Bow looked up at Light Hope.</p>
<p>“Yes?” Bow asked, even though he knew full well what was coming.</p>
<p>“You are violating the dress code,” Light Hope answered, “You know this means detention.”</p>
<p>Bow sighed, “I do. I’ll be there after school.”</p>
<p>“Good,” Light Hope said, and then started class. Bow looked at Adora and grinned, and Adora whispered a genuine <em> thank you </em> before turning her attention to the teacher. She hated Light Hope, but she might as well try and get good grades to make up for the detention she had to serve later today.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After seventh period, Bow met Adora outside of Castaspella’s classroom and they sat down in the classroom, Adora sitting in front of Bow so that she could turn around and look at him.</p>
<p>“You ready?” she asked.</p>
<p>“I guess,” Bow answered, looking thoughtful, “you know, I bet Glimmer’s gonna be here.”</p>
<p>“What? Why?” Adora panicked, thinking about the one awkward conversation they’d had that morning. Adora didn’t know how to talk to Glimmer, and Glimmer didn’t know how to talk to her. If Glimmer was there, then Bow would be Adora’s buffer between more than just Catra.</p>
<p>“She probably had this same buffer idea as me,” Bow said, “except for Catra.”</p>
<p>“How is Glimmer intentionally getting detention?” Adora asked, curious.</p>
<p>“Swearing, most likely,” Bow replied, “she’s very prone to harsh verbal outbursts.”</p>
<p>“I remember,” Adora said, thinking about middle school.</p>
<p>At that point Glimmer and Catra walked in, and Adora’s heart clenched as she froze up. She fell silent for a while, only talking when Castaspella addressed her, until she’d fully caught her breath from seeing Catra again, Catra who refused to even look at her. But eventually Adora’s outgoing nature gave in, and she started talking to Glimmer and Bow, trying to get details on their friendship, and then at some point Catra joined in and it occurred to Adora that, actually, talking to both Glimmer and Catra was super easy. Glimmer and Adora fell back into their similar rhythm from when they were kids, and Adora and Catra were still awkward but as long as they were in a conversation with other people then they were okay. And Adora loved it, which is why she wasn’t nearly as annoyed as she should’ve been that Catra knew more about Bow’s dads than she did. Even if it was just because Glimmer told her.</p>
<p>“Again,” Adora cleared her throat, “tell me what?”</p>
<p>Glimmer sighed and put her head in her hands.</p>
<p>“Well,” Bow started, “you know about how my dads want me to be a historian, take over the family library and all that, right?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Adora nodded. What else was there that she didn’t know about? There was a slight sting that both Catra and Glimmer knew but she didn’t.</p>
<p>“They only sent me to this school because the history curriculum is good,” Bow continued, “but for me it was my first chance to finally be myself. Back at the public schools, I didn’t really have a lot of friends. The ones I did have I couldn’t relate to at <em> all </em> , because I wasn’t actually into what they liked. I was kind of a drifter, always drawn to the sciency stuff I couldn’t have. And then I came here, immediately became popular, and I finally just-felt <em> right </em>. I found real friends, I met Entrapta and she got me an in with Prime Tech, and now I’m actually going somewhere that I want to with my life. The only problem is, my dads don’t know anything about it. And I can’t tell them, because they’d be disappointed and they’d never understand.”</p>
<p>“What?” Adora said incredulously, because she’d met Bow’s dads before and they were great, “why wouldn’t they?”</p>
<p>“They hate Prime Tech,” Glimmer put in bluntly.</p>
<p>“I-yeah,” Bow sighed, “they hate it. Like, more than Glimmer hates it. And I can’t imagine how they’d react if they found out their son wanted to work there. I don’t wanna lose them.”</p>
<p>Adora was surprised, taken aback that she’d never heard about this side of Bow before. But, she realized, how much did Bow really talk about himself? Superficial things, sure, what he liked and his favorite things, but never about his past, or his issues. He didn’t talk to Adora the way that she talked to him, probably because she’d never offered. She should’ve offered, Adora thought, feeling incredibly selfish. She should’ve known that everyone has their issues, even Bow, and that he’d have something he needed to get off his chest. Adora should’ve said something, checked up on him, instead of taking advantage of him. Adora made a mental note to apologize to Bow for that at some point. But now all she could do was make it up to him by comforting him, and maybe trying to give some advice.</p>
<p>“Bow,” Adora said gently, “your dads love you. I’ve seen it when I met them, there’s nothing you could do that would make you lose them. They might hate Prime Tech, but they’ll come around when they see how happy it makes you. How could they not?”</p>
<p>Glimmer makes a sound that seemed like a cross between relief and annoyance. “See, Bow?” Glimmer gestured to Adora widely, “that’s what I’ve been <em> saying </em>. I hate Prime Tech and I’m still here supporting you! If I, someone who can hold a grudge through lifetimes, can come around, then your dads will definitely come around.”</p>
<p>“Okay, yes,” Bow nodded, “but also, we fought for a month about this. I could end up fighting with my dads for even longer.”</p>
<p>Wait, what? Adora had no idea Glimmer and Bow had fought for that long at any point in their lives. Adora turned to look at Catra, but she didn’t seem surprised at all. Of course, Adora figured, she would’ve heard about it from Glimmer. She was probably there for Glimmer through it.</p>
<p>“If you fight with your dads at all,” Glimmer replied, “it’ll be for way less time. They’re different from me. They raised you, they love you unconditionally. There’s no way they won’t accept this.”</p>
<p>“None of you get it,” Bow sighed dejectedly.</p>
<p>“No,” Catra said harshly, and Adora looked up at her, dreading whatever was going to come next.</p>
<p>“We don’t get it,” Catra continued, “and I know it’s not my place to say anything, or whatever, but I know through Glimmer so now I’m involved whether you like it or not. Take it from me and Glimmer, whose dads don’t love them. Glimmer can tell, just by looking at them, and me by hearing about them, that they would do absolutely anything for you. Including supporting you through anything. First of all, that’s their literal job as dads. And Glimmer says they’re the only dads she knows who actually follow through on that job. So.”</p>
<p>If she was being honest, Adora was a little stunned at Catra’s outburst. She’d always known that Catra’s way of helping people was by screaming sense into them, but she’d never expected that Catra would do it for Bow. They’d just met, and Adora figured Catra would need time to warm up to him before she was loyal and tried to help him. But apparently she trusted him already, after having known him for barely eight hours. And yet Adora, her best friend since childhood, apologized and begged to be friends again and Catra refused. Rejected her. Adora hated the venomous jealousy that spiked through her stomach. She shook it away, deciding that his conversation was about Bow, not her and Catra.</p>
<p>“A little harsh,” Adora started, “but Bow, Catra’s totally right. Tell your dads.”</p>
<p>“Thanks for the support,” Catra said, and Adora turned to look at her. The remark was obviously supposed to come out as scathing, and it kind of did, but there was a hint of genuineness that made Adora do a double-take.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Adora replied, “anytime.”</p>
<p>Catra coughed and looked away, and Adora tried not to feel disappointed.</p>
<p>Bow sighed and put his head in his hands, and Glimmer put a hand on his arm.</p>
<p>“I have been a little stubborn, haven’t I?” he said.</p>
<p>“I’m rubbing off on you,” Glimmer answered, “but now three different people have told you what you need to do, and we’re all here for you.”</p>
<p>“Well,” Bow replied, “two people and someone who just yelled at me for a while, but sure,” and then, kinder, “thanks, you guys. Maybe I will tell them.”</p>
<p>“You definitely should,” Adora said, smiling at him. Bow smiled back.</p>
<p>“They love you,” Adora continued, deliberately turning to look at Catra, “ so they'll forgive you.”</p>
<p>Catra scowled, “don’t do this, Adora.”</p>
<p>Adora sighed, “sorry,” she muttered. She knew doing that kind of stuff wasn’t going to change anything, so why did she keep doing it?</p>
<p>“Don’t just <em> apologize </em> again,” Catra snapped, “just, don’t talk to me. I told you to stay away, didn’t I?”</p>
<p>Catra stood up, refusing the arm Glimmer reached out, and walked to the other side of the classroom. She sat on a desk next to the wall, arms crossed and looking down.</p>
<p>Adora sighed and closed her eyes, but they fluttered open at an unfamiliar touch on her shoulder.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” came Glimmer’s voice, “Catra’s been kind of on edge since lunch. She needs space.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Adora sighed, “okay. I get it.”</p>
<p>Glimmer nodded, and then lifted her hand to go sit near Catra. She didn’t say anything, just offered silent support from the desk behind her. Adora saw Catra’s position visibly shift to one holding less tension as she felt Glimmer’s presence behind her.</p>
<p>“You okay?” asked Bow softly.</p>
<p>“They’re close, aren’t they?” Adora said, “almost like me and Catra used to be close. I didn’t know they were like that.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t really, either,” Bow shrugged.</p>
<p>“I didn’t know you and Glimmer were as close as you are, either,” Adora turned to Bow accusingly.</p>
<p>“Hey, don’t turn this around on me,” Bow argued, “Catra snapped at you. I know it hurts. Are you sure you’re okay?”</p>
<p>Of course, Adora thought, Bow refused to talk about himself in favor of helping Adora. She sighed, then nodded.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” she said, “like I’ve been saying all day, I’m fine. Promise.”</p>
<p>Bow accepted that answer, even if he looked like he didn’t quite believe it. They lapsed into silence, Adora trying hard not to stare at Catra across the classroom, and Bow offered her his hand, a quiet show of support. Adora took it, holding on tight. Too tight, but Bow either didn’t notice or didn’t say anything. Either way, Adora was grateful, because she was tired of lying to Bow.</p>
<p>She was tired of not being fine.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Not a real chapter, just an announcement</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>hey guys, sorry for the radio silence on wednesday. honestly i've been really busy with school and its hard to keep updating this fic. also I'm kinda losing motivation to write it, but I also don't wanna abandon it. so basically updates are just gonna take longer and be more sporadic. I'm sorry about that, but I'm gonna try and keep this fic going even if I cant update all the time. </p><p>(ill delete this later, its not part of the chapter count)</p><p>thank you for reading, your comments/subscriptions/kudos mean the world to me!</p><p>:)</p>
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